fur collar. He changed behind a screen and offered Shmattas some money. She waved her hands at him and began another monologue in Romanian, interspersed with, “Oy vey, Rabbitzen!”
He wanted to explain to Shmattas that the black coat and hat were not a Jewish tradition at all, merely an imitation of the Polish aristocracy of a few centuries ago, which Jews had adopted for no religious reason. But he knew she wouldn’t understand.
Lemmy emerged a clean-cut, blue-eyed young man, with a bundle of black clothes under his right arm and a Mauser stuck in his belt under the windbreaker. His head felt cold, neither hair nor a hat to protect it. He strolled down King George Street, enjoying the sun. The secular women glanced at him differently now, some smiling openly. He smiled back.
When the sun touched the rooftops in the west, he headed home. He knew his parents would be shocked, but they would have to let him live according to his principles. They had to understand and accept him in this new phase of his life as a modern Jew. After all, he was their only child. The threat of banishment was empty, Lemmy was certain. His father had preached: Our child is our creation. Once we give birth to a child, it’s ours, flesh and blood, for better or for worse. As to the rest of the sect, Lemmy did not care what they thought. He was done studying Talmud from morning to night, and his future did not include marrying Sorkeh, he was certain of that. Maybe she could marry Benjamin?
His mother opened the door. She gasped and stumbled backward until her back met the wall. Slowly her knees gave way, the whites of her eyes appeared, and she descended to the floor.
“Mother!” Lemmy knelt beside her.
The hinges creaked as the study door opened. Lemmy looked up at his father, who seemed calm, as if he had expected his son to come home with his payos chopped off.
“Fetch water for your mother.”
Lemmy ran to the kitchen and brought a glass of water. He held it to her lips while his father supported her head. Her eyes slowly came into focus.
They held her up and walked her to her room, where she collapsed on the bed. Lemmy took her hand, but she pulled it away.
“You are the same,” she whispered, “the two of you, the same.” She closed her eyes and rolled onto her side, facing the wall.
Rabbi Gerster left the room and waited for Lemmy in the hallway. “Did Tanya tell you to do this?”
“No. She told me to make my own choices.”
“I see.” There was no anger in his voice. “Is this your final decision?”
“Yes.”
“You feel you have no other choice?”
“Correct.”
“Then I have no choice either.” Rabbi Gerster gestured at Lemmy’s bare head. “Put on your yarmulke. We’re going to the synagogue.”
“The synagogue? I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Obey me, Jerusalem, this one last time.”
As they were leaving the house, Lemmy saw The Zohar in his father’s right hand. Why was he taking the book of Kabbalah to the synagogue? Lemmy’s heart beat faster as thoughts raced through his mind. Was his father planning to cast a spell on him? No. That was a ludicrous idea! More likely, his father would use the book to somehow make the men accept Lemmy in his new form. And if they refused? He touched the bulge of the Mauser against the small of his back. The men in the synagogue would be shocked by his snipped payos, his Zionist outfit, his proverbial slap in the face of his father, their beloved rabbi. Would they scream? Wave fists? Throw rocks?
His legs weakened, and his throat went dry. He had expected his choice to cause discomfort, maybe even a bit of acrimony with his parents, but he had not planned to follow his father, like the first Abraham, to an altar. And Abraham held up the slaughterer’s knife to slay his son.
Entering the synagogue behind his father, Lemmy was blinded by the glow of the crystal chandelier, which burned with a thousand drops of light. He realized it had been turned on in honor of his scheduled engagement, in celebration of continuity, of the first step in the rabbinical succession at Neturay Karta.
The two of them entered the hall and stood behind the rows of men, who swayed as they studied, unaware of Rabbi Gerster and his only son, who was no longer a faithful member of their community.
“Good