JAX (The Beckett Boys #2) - Olivia Chase Page 0,37

to change who I am. Not yet. Though a small part in my heart is telling me I should just jump off the ledge. But what happens if I change everything about myself, let her in, and then she fucking dumps me anyway? Then I’ve lost the core of who I am, and I’m left with nothing.

I’m not going to be like my dad. A broken man who let his guard down and got hurt. I’ll just have to find a way to be with her and not completely forget what I’m about.

I reach over and stroke her hair, and honest to God she purrs, and my cock immediately bounces to life. I grab a piece of cheese and tap it on her lower lip, and she opens her mouth and takes a bite. Moans, lowers her head to look at me. There’s the weight of desire in her eyes—I can see it clear as day. She still wants me.

I still want her, too. More with each minute that passes.

We finish our meal this way, me feeding her bits in between sips of wine, her feeding some to me, the sexual tension ramping up. We don’t say a word, just move in silence, letting our bodies, our eyes, speak for us.

My dick is slammed against my zipper. I reach down to adjust it so it doesn’t hurt as badly.

Her gaze follows my hand, and she finally breaks the quiet. “I never got to make you come. Why did you stop me?”

Not what I was expecting her to say. I recover fast from my surprise. “Because I wanted to focus on you. You’ve never had it done to you before. I needed it to be memorable.”

“Why?” she presses. Leans closer to me, her eyes fixed on mine. I can tell there’s more behind her question than what it seems on the surface.

I move my hand until it’s cupping over hers, resting on the blanket. Let my fingers stroke her smooth flesh. Even touching her in this innocent manner makes my body scream to get her naked and crawl on top of her. “Because I want to be the one who experiences those firsts with you. I want all your hungry sighs to be for me.” I grip her chin with my other hand and make her look at my eyes. “The moment I touched you, I knew I wanted you. More than I’ve ever wanted a woman before.”

Her lips part, and her breath comes out in soft pants. I can see her nipples bead under her shirt. My words are affecting her. Blood is roaring in my ears.

“I want you, too,” she whispers. “I’m just…scared.”

“I’m not gonna push you into anything,” I tell her. Though I’m fucking about to explode just from being this close to her.

“I know that.” She shakes her head. “You could have had me on my bed and you didn’t. You could have just let me make you come, but you focused on me instead. I think you want to tell yourself you’re nothing but a bad boy, but I see more to you.”

The words pierce me. I move forward and capture her mouth in a hot kiss. I can’t think, can do anything but this.

She twines her arms around my neck and pulls me as close as I can be, then lies down on the blanket, taking me with her. I let my hands roam her generous curves, sighing against her lips, nibbling on her mouth and chin and throat. God, I want her, I want her so badly right now I could scream.

“Jax,” she whispers as she pulls away from me ever so slightly. “I want you to be my first.”

Brooklyn

Jax stares at me in silence for a long moment, and I feel a twinge of doubt. From everything he said to me today, he has feelings for me—it’s evident in his tone, on his face, through his body language. The way he touches me like he’s worshiping me.

I want my first time with sex to be with someone like him. No, not like him.

I want him. The man who chased me down to find me in the library with a ridiculously big bouquet of wildflowers, bringing me to an outdoor picnic just to apologize for his actions.

“Are you sure?” Jax asks. I can see how big his pupils are, feel his rock-hard cock against my thigh. He wants me, too, but he’s still offering me a chance to back out. Jax is a lot