JAX (The Beckett Boys #2) - Olivia Chase Page 0,36
for a blanket picnic. Yeah, okay, I admit—this wasn’t my idea. I talked to Aubrey last night about how to fix this fuck-up, and she suggested I do some sort of romantic gesture involving the outdoors, told me that Brooklyn loves being outside.
I guess she must know her shit, because when Aubrey sees the clearing, she gives an excited gasp and claps her hands. “This is gorgeous!” Wildflowers are blooming all around the perimeter of our area. I hear the sounds of nature around us, and the sunlight pours through the big gap in trees to warm the clearing.
With a flourish, I spread out the blanket I had draped across my arm. “Your seat, madam,” I say in a snooty French accent. Then I open the backpack I filled with all our supplies. “And for madam, we have ze finest red wine we could steal from Outlaws.”
It’s pretty rare for us to serve wine there, but we keep it in stock now because Aubrey’s trying to help widen our customer base.
Since this was her idea, Outlaws can foot the bill for our drinks.
Brooklyn stands there and stares at me.
“Is…something wrong?” I ask, pausing in pulling out the wine opener. Maybe this is too over the top.
She draws in a breath. Presses her hands to her belly. “I’m just surprised. This is a lot of effort to go through for me. Why are you doing all of this?”
It’s a fair question. One I’ve been asking myself, too. I’ve never chased a woman before, never had to. I’ve not really had trouble hooking up in the past.
Brooklyn is more than a hookup though. She’s different. She keeps me on my toes, makes me have thoughts I’ve never had before.
I give a casual shrug. I’m not ready to admit some of the things I’m thinking. Not ready for that level of truth-telling. “I never half-ass anything. I whole ass it or don’t do it at all.”
She chuckles. “You’re right about the ass part.”
I go back into the bag and dig for the wine opener. Pop it open and pour into two small plastic cups. “I was afraid glasses might break in here,” I say.
“I like it—classy,” she chuckles.
“I guess I put the ‘ass’ in class, darling.”
Her smile is so wide it makes something in my heart chip away. “You’re always entertaining, I’ll give you that.”
She oohs and aahs over all the food I withdraw from the bag, showing them in a flourish. Aubrey suggested I get a bunch of snobby snack crap, like fancy cheese and crackers and shit. The chick at the grocery store counter helped me out.
“This looks so good.” She grabs a cracker and nibbles on it, then tilts her face to the sky and closes her eyes. “It’s gorgeous out here, isn’t it?”
Sitting in this spot with Brooklyn, watching how much pleasure she takes from simple gestures people do for her…she’s the one who makes this place gorgeous. My chest tightens. Fuck.
What am I doing? I’m developing real feelings for this woman. Strong feelings. Feelings I refuse to put a label on right now, because I’m so not ready for that kind of thing. And now shit is getting far too complicated, because as much as I told myself I brought her here to apologize, I realize I have to acknowledge it’s something more.
That I wanted to put that happy smile on her face. Wanted to surprise her and let her know she isn’t forgettable to me. Because I know that’s exactly what she was thinking when she left the bar—that I forgot about her.
As if I could. As if my entire body hasn’t been magnetized to her north. Everything in me points in her direction, beckons me to her.
I’m in over my fucking head with Brooklyn, and fuck if I know what to do. Because I can’t stop being who I am…and who I am will ultimately end up destroying us. I’ll ruin any chance I have with her long-term. The smart thing would be to have let her walk away. Let her think I’m just some drunk asshole not worth her time. But it would kill me to have her believe that of me.
Even if it is kinda true.
The problem is, I can’t not see her anymore. I can’t not be around her. Every time I’m with her, I want more. It’s not an option to just let her go, despite the spectacular mess that’s going to occur when we end. Because we will end.