actually, but this form of madness is far preferable to that of a fortnight since, don’t y’agree?”
“God, yes.” I calmed myself. “And I never thought that mad, only tragic.”
He set his hands softly at my waist, frowning in thought.
I passed quiet fingers over his hairline and waited, wondering whether his torment had been constant or more like owning a heart which had stopped like a broken watch; I wondered whether he knew himself.
“I hated the hands which couldn’t help her,” he concluded hoarsely. “And all those dead, Jane . . . Even after coming here, when I would walk into a pub or a square, I couldn’t look at humans without seeing them as corpses.” He shook his white head. “Then I saw you. You are so alive, Jane Steele, you make my breath catch, as if a glowing creature from the depths of the forest had lit upon the end of my finger. You had already endeared yourself to me by greeting Sahjara so courteously, as if somehow it were a happy circumstance for you to accidentally enter our madhouse. When I saw you fall from Nalin that night, I knew you were dead, my darling, I knew it with such certainty, because how could anyone I had liked so well from the first survive such an accident? Then you sprang up wielding invective and knives and I adored you. I thought it lunacy that you should take such a frank interest in my history.”
“Only insomuch as your history makes you who you are today. I dreaded your knowing mine, sir.”
His eyes, so wistful seconds previous, narrowed in amusement. “Had you not better call me Charles?”
Laughing, I pressed my forehead to his. “I love you, Charles Thornfield.”
He placed his hand over my heart, and I could not help but wince at the sting; where once he had been about to speak, he stilled in chagrin, and I realised any further intimacy would reveal the injury inflicted by Mr. Sack. This was distressing. I wanted no words on the subject of the Company to distract us; I wanted fewer articles of clothing between, and ideally a bed, though the nearby sofa would do, or the rug barring that.
“It’s nothing, only a scratch.”
“A scratch from what manner of animal?” he demanded.
Clearly I was to be thwarted in any attempt to keep the injury secret; I unbuttoned my dress at the neck a few inches, and then several inches more than was necessary, and watched as my love’s heated gaze darkened to black. The gash was indeed an ugly one, a crusted purple line.
“Very well, precisely whom am I meant to murder this evening?” he snarled.
“I thought I was the expert on that activity.”
“Jane, I demand satisfaction!”
“Might we employ other avenues in our search for satisfaction?” I said in his ear.
“There have been too many outrages upon your person in our brief acquaintance, and it will not be tolerated a moment longer, not while I have breath, do you hear me?”
I placed my hands along his stony jaw, set upon having my own way.
“Charles,” said I. “While you have breath in your body is, I hope, a long period of opportunity. Now, if you will forgive me for being coarse, I should like your breath on my body. I am a wicked woman, and I should like for us to go upstairs and wash this blasted scrape, and see that my head is mending well—because that will please you upon a professional level, and because you enjoy being tender with me—and then I should like for you to express that tenderness in positively filthy fashions.”
The scowl did not vanish, but now his sculpted mouth and eyes both softened at their corners. “Is that truly how you wish to pass the night?”
“Oh, I do, sir.”
“Had I not better ask you to marry me?”
“I don’t know. Do you want to?”
Finally, he chuckled and drew me closer, pulling slack lips over the hollow of my throat. “Yes.”
I shivered. “I don’t see any ministers here, do you?”
“Drat, we seem to have run dry of prelates. Happens at the worst possible times. Jane, we are doing this all out of order.”
“Are we?” My nose crinkled in confusion.
“Indeed so.” His voice lowered, its warm burr scraping over me softly. “I love you, Jane Steele. I love you. I’ve loved you since you fell from my horse. I love you, and I’m a damn fool. That should have been said by this time. Now, I’ve a confession to make.”