she was at a level deeper than she had previously experienced. She had pushed herself beyond her limits and received an incredible gift in return.
The memory of Jake’s surrender was strong and heady. He had watched her with a fierceness that was almost frightening. And he had released himself in a torrent that had made her feel bad-ass powerful. It was intoxicating. She wanted more of it.
But she wondered about Jake. After his explosive climax, where she was sure he had let go, if not completely, enough to leave him shaken, he had insisted on getting out of bed. They had showered together, but it had been a tender session while he bathed her. He did not allow her to return the favor, saying only, when she persisted, “Please, Ivy. I need some time, okay?”
She read that as space, but when she asked if he wanted to reschedule their date that
night, he had refused.
Since then, he had spoken little, touched her gently, if possessively, and remained mentally distant. He was regrouping.
And Ivy tried not to trespass. He was present emotionally, connected through touch. And he made the effort to keep that flowing between them. So Ivy let the silences stretch. She explored her own thoughts and occasionally glanced at Jake to see how he was progressing. His profile was taut and a frown drew his brows together. She would love to put her fingers there, to soothe him.
He caught her gaze and smiled. It was a small gesture, but it softened his features and Ivy needed it.
“You want a fresh cup?”
He nodded toward the table. She hadn’t touched her coffee and it had grown cold. Jake had downed two cups already.
“Yes.” Her throat was husky from lack of use.
She slid her hand beneath his on her leg, weaving their fingers together. He gave hers a squeeze and signaled for the waitress.
The waitress came and placed their meals before them. She topped off Jake’s cup and brought a fresh one for Ivy. They had ordered breakfast for lunch at a little diner close enough to the ocean that the air outside was salty. From the window, Ivy gazed at the wide expanse of sky, at the palm trees that spiraled upward, each one standing alone and its fronds lifting in the breeze.
Jake removed his hand from her thigh and picked up his utensils. And she missed his touch, felt bereft without it. Though there were mere inches between them, though she felt his body heat and his elbow brushed against hers when he moved, he was really miles away.
“Eat Ivy, please.” His voice was somber. Not lacking his usual confidence, but definitely subdued. And she was beginning to regret her earlier triumph. It had been a powerful moment for her. And gratifying. She had wanted to please him and she had, but at what cost? Was it too much? Would a relationship with her require more than he wanted to give?
She met his gaze and opened her mouth to speak, but he laid a finger over her lips.
“We need to talk,” he agreed. “Just not yet, okay?”
She wanted to grant his request, but the silences were killing her. “Could we talk about something else then?” And when doubt clouded his expression she added, “Anything else?”
He thought about it, his blue eyes roaming her face.
“You want to pet tiger sharks tomorrow?” he asked.
He was thinking beyond today. And he was reaching out to her. He understood she needed that and it made the heaviness in her heart increase. Why couldn’t she do the same for him? He’d set boundaries and she’d pushed him beyond them. Jake’s discipline ran deep. He relied on it. Why did she equate it with emotional distance? Maybe she was still more insecure than she wanted to believe. And that depressed her.
“Hey,” he called to her softly and traced a finger down her cheek to regain her attention. “They don’t bite.”
His smile held none of the wicked intent she’d gotten used to seeing, but it was confident and reassuring and Ivy appreciate that. She felt her shoulders relax. The churning in her stomach eased.
“You want to take that kayak tour? Sure.” She didn’t have to be to work until seven. They could spend the whole day playing and she wouldn’t once challenge his resolve.
“I’ll wear a granny swimsuit,” she promised. She had no idea where she’d find one, but she was thinking something along the lines of a one piece with a full skirt that covered her legs