"We got to go."
And even though this is not how I wanted the night to end, I'm smiling because I know Jackal wants me, and now he knows just how much I want him too.
Jackal
The cops are swarming the lake and the last thing I want to do is be caught and cuffed. I've been there before. I'm sure as fuck not doing it again. This is why I keep my head down. This is why I stay home. This is why I don't do people, friends, relationships. I keep to myself because I want to stay under the radar, because I know what happens when you stand up, when you fight.
You end up hurt and I'm sure as hell not going to hurt Lydia.
"We've got to go," I say, and she nods, fear in her eyes. She may have been through some shit, but the police still scare her and rightfully so. "Come on. It's going to be okay." I pull her close and kiss her head. Her hair smells like her strawberry kisses and I wish we could just ride away into the sunset. But the sun has already faded. The sky is dark and the stars are out and it's time to go.
I take her hand and we run toward the parking lot. We don't make eye contact with anyone. And when I see Maddox and Peaches in the distance shouting at the cops, I grunt, pulling Lydia to my bike. I see the guys that gave me a bad feeling earlier, and one of them lays their eyes on me. I clench my jaw as he turns, and I see the logo on his leather jacker — he is a Blue Devil.
Motherfucker. I need to go. Now.
“Get on. Hold on tight,” I tell Lydia, handing her my helmet. She nods obediently, keeping her mouth shut. She understands that I'm not messing around, that this isn't a time to start some fight. Now's the time to keep our heads down and get home. On the back of my hog, Lydia wraps her arms around me and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't the best damn feeling in my life, better even than her naked body pressed against my skin, than her sweet hips rocking against my hard cock. But this is better because being on my bike is the only place I feel free and right now I feel like anything is possible even though the world is caving in.
We ride off into the night, away from the cop cars and the sirens and the bullhorns still blasting. Their decree forced us to go, but I never planned to stick around anyway. It's time to get Lydia home. It's time to let this night end, close the book, lock it up, push it out of my mind because Lydia has no place in my heart, even if it's what I want, even if it's what I crave.
She’s much too good for me.
When we get to Ranger and Ruby's place, I kill the engine, figuring the least I can do is walk her to the door. She has her backpack on with her camera in it, and her hair has been whipped by the wind. She hands me the helmet and I set it on my seat. Walking her to the door feels like the end of the first date we never had.
I'd give her a kiss, but I already took way more than I should have.
"Thank you," she says, "for keeping my secret."
I nod. "You shouldn't have been there in the first place."
She licks her lips. "Maybe so, but I'm glad I was."
"You mean that, Lydia?" I ask her.
She lowers her chin but raises her eyes. And in them I see a truth that I'm going to hold onto. She doesn't regret kissing me. And that makes me wish everything were different, that I were different, that I were the kind of man that wasn't chased by demons, that I were the kind of man who could be loved by a girl as pure as her.
"You should go to bed," I tell her. She smiles softly.
"Yeah, probably should." Swallowing, she opens her mouth, but I press my finger to it before she can say another word.
"Don't," I say, "we had this night. Let that be enough."
Tears fill her eyes and she blinks them away. "Why are you pushing me away? What if we could be something good, something great?"
I smile softly, wishing I could have