I realized in that moment that it was true. With Connor, I was just asking for heartbreak. It might not come right away, it might not come in three weeks, maybe not even three months. May not even come in three years, but it would come. At some point it would come and it would be my own fault. Lucas though. Yeah, he was attractive, he was nice. He didn’t light my world on fire the same way Connor did, but we had sexual chemistry. I liked being with him, I enjoyed my time with him. I’d orgasmed with him. He was worth my time and effort. At least he texted me in the last twenty-four hours wondering if I was still okay.
I grabbed the phone and texted Lucas back.
Gemma: Hey yeah. Finally feeling better. Looking forward to tomorrow.
Lucas: So glad to hear from you. I was starting to get worried. I’m excited to see you. Just let me know the details for tomorrow night and I’ll be there. Tell me if there’s anything I should bring. Wink, wink.
“Oh shit.” Lucas was definitely expecting to get laid and I couldn’t blame the man. We’d been on a number of dates already, been as close to sex as you could get without having sex. And I knew he was expecting that tomorrow was going to be the night that fireworks weren’t just in the sky. And maybe, just maybe, it was going to be his lucky night.
Gemma: Don’t worry. I’ve got everything taken care of.
I responded quickly. Even though I had absolutely nothing taken care of. I had no idea where I was going to take him, what we were going to do, but I’d figure that out later. My plan was to tell Lucas to meet me in the Upper West Side at ten p.m. Hopefully, he’d get there early. I would go to the Upper East Side and meet Connor at nine p.m. I’d spend about an hour and a half with him, let him down gently. And then I’d go to meet Lucas and we’d ride off into the sunset together. Granted, it was going to be late at night and we weren’t riding any horses and there would be no sunset. But we’d figure out something to do.
I’d tell him that my plans fell through or something, and maybe we could go back to my place. I knew it wasn’t very special and I knew it wasn’t fun, but it would do. I just needed to break it off with Connor first. That would make me feel better about everything. I knew it was going to be hard because I would be meeting Connor’s parents and because Connor and I had this chemistry that was just undeniable. But I would do it for my own peace of mind. I would do it. I felt almost like I was trying to convince myself that I would, because the niggling feeling inside of me told me that it was going to be really hard. How many times had I tried to end things with Connor, and how many times had he convinced me to give us another chance?
I felt like I had really gotten to know him at the cabin and I felt that he was a really misunderstood artistic creature that wanted more from life than even he was willing to express himself. But I can’t wait around for that, I wasn’t a psychiatrist, I wasn’t a shrink. I couldn’t fix him and his issues. Shit, I didn’t even know how to deal with my own issues without calling my best friend every five minutes. No way I could fix his.
I had to take care of myself and I had to do what was right for my future and my family. And I knew my family was most probably going to murder me when they found out exactly what I’d been up to on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Not that I was ever going to tell them, but if they ever found out they’d kill me.
I grabbed my phone and called my grandma. I knew if I didn’t call her right now, she’d most probably send the police to my apartment and then, New Year’s Eve would be the least of my problems.
“Gemma, I’ve been calling you for two days. Where have you been? You’ve been with your boyfriend? You not call your grandma because you’re with your boyfriend, do you think that’s acceptable?”