It Sounded Better in My Head - Nina Kenwood Page 0,51

can ever imagine together,’ Zach says. He seems very firm on this.

‘Natalie’s an intellectual,’ Sal says. (Sal holds this delusion because I once knew the answer to a crossword clue he couldn’t figure out.)

‘And I’m stupid?’ Alex says, looking more and more irritated.

‘No, honey. He means Natalie is book smart and you’re street smart,’ Mariella says, using her fingers to make air quotes around the words ‘street smart’.

Zach hoots with laughter, and Alex shakes his head. I used to think it was fine that Alex was often the butt of his family’s jokes, because he was the older and cooler brother, but now I want to tell everyone to shut up.

‘You work in a bar and Natalie doesn’t even drink,’ Zach adds.

I wait for Alex to mention that, technically, he doesn’t work in a bar anymore, and that it’s not a bar, it’s a pub-restaurant, and I like eating food and Alex likes making food, so we’re actually very compatible in that way, but instead he just looks furious.

‘This is a ridiculous discussion,’ I say before anyone can open their mouths and make a comparison between Vanessa and me, which is where I fear the conversation is headed next.

‘Exactly. Natalie and Alex are not together,’ Zach says.

‘Actually, you’re wrong,’ Alex says, standing up dramatically.

I feel a stabbing pain in my heart. I’m going to have a heart attack and die before I can hear Alex clarify that statement.

‘We are together,’ Alex says.

Mariella actually gasps and puts a hand to her chest.

‘What?’ Lucy and Zach say in unison. Zach looks disbelieving, Lucy scandalised. She has let go of my hand, and I wish she hadn’t, because I need her now.

‘Well, then,’ Sal says. He opens his mouth like he’s going to say something else, but then closes it again.

If my life were a movie, this moment would be underscored with heart-swelling music. Alex has just publicly declared we’re together! Except it doesn’t feel romantic at all. It feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room. And I’m not sure if what he’s saying is real.

I make fleeting eye contact with Alex. My face says, What the hell are you doing? and his says, I will say anything to prove my family wrong.

Everyone turns to look at me.

‘Is this true?’ Zach says. I can tell he’s hoping I will deny everything.

‘Um, sort of,’ I say. My left eye has developed a twitch. I’ve moved into a state beyond emotion. I am numb, calm, serenely detached. This must be what people mean when they say they’re having an out-of-body experience. Or else I have actually died.

‘The two of you are a couple?’ Lucy says, speaking more slowly than usual.

‘Well, I wouldn’t say that,’ I say, pressing a fingertip to my twitching eyelid. Is an eye twitch the sign of something more serious? Should I be seeking medical attention? That could be my way out of here.

‘What would you say?’ Zach asks.

‘I would say it’s complicated,’ I say. The calm feeling is quickly disappearing and panic is flooding in. I give Alex a help-me look. He has the expression of someone who thought they were in control of a situation and has just realised that maybe they aren’t.

‘When did this happen?’ Zach says, standing up next to Alex in an aggressive way. Are they going to fight?

‘And what happened?’ Lucy adds, as if I’m going to go into the nitty gritty in front of Mariella and Sal.

‘I swear to god, Alex, if you are just using Natalie because she happened to be in your bed…’ Zach says, and even though I accused Alex of the very same thing the night before, I am utterly outraged by this, especially the fact he would say that in front of everyone.

‘Zach!’ I say.

‘It’s nice that you think so highly of me,’ Alex says, glowering at his brother. They really are standing quite close to each other. Before this moment, I would have said the idea of two guys physically fighting over an issue relating to me was quite interesting, but now it’s closer to happening in reality, the very thought is making my other eye twitch as well. I close both my eyes, briefly, and take a deep breath.

‘Why are we being interrogated like criminals anyway? We are two consenting adults,’ Alex says.

Good, okay, he’s deflecting. Except for using the word ‘consenting’. I wish he hadn’t said that. It implies we had sex. I can tell that’s Lucy’s interpretation, because her eyes have