if he felt it too—the heat that passed between them. He brought his eyes to hers, and she could feel his utter despair—it mixed with her own and pooled at their feet.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “For my father.”
His eyes dipped to her lips, then back up. He slid his arm from her touch, and her fingers stung at the absence of his skin. “Me too.”
“Our birthday is soon,” she said without thinking. “Have you written out your wish?”
“Louisa—don’t.” He studied her. “It’s hard enough as it is.”
While she wished his words had served as a bucket of water to extinguish her desire for him, quite the opposite had happened, and she couldn’t make sense of it. Would she ever stop loving him now that she’d tasted him? Would she ever be able to recover from a heart this broken?
“I have to go,” he said. “I’ll be in touch about the house.”
And then he was gone.
Dear Louisa,
We both knew this day would come—the day I left you in favor of the pearly gates. I know you’re probably thinking it’ll be a miracle if they let me into heaven, but I’ve got a plan to bribe the big guy with my famous peach crumble.
Think it’ll work?
I’m kidding, of course. You know I don’t talk about it often, but I’m ready to meet my Maker. He and I have had some pretty great conversations over the years—many about you, if I’m honest. He loves when you talk to him, Lou. Do it more often, okay?
I always thought knowing my time on earth was coming to a close would be more of a curse than a blessing, but as I near the end, I have to say, I’m glad the doctor told me when he did. It gave me more time to really appreciate what I had this side of heaven. It gave me time to reflect on the things and people I love.
You are always at the top of that list.
I know I don’t show it, and I’m a little hard to deal with at times, but I hope you never doubted my love for you. I didn’t get to have my own kids, but if I had, I would have loved to have one as wonderful and kind and good-hearted as you.
I’m proud of you. I don’t say it enough, but there it is.
The other day, I went in to discuss my will with Henry. He hit on me again. (Honestly! The man never tires of embarrassing me!) He told me how much money I would be able to leave you, and I nearly keeled over right there. The lesson here is to always open the mail your financial advisers send you—I could’ve done really good things if I’d realized how much money I had.
But now you get to do really good things with this money. And maybe that’s how it was always supposed to be.
What can I say? I love ya. I hope all of your dreams come true. Live well. Love well. And someday tell your kids about their crazy aunt Maggie.
You were one of my favorite things about being alive.
Mags
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
CODY LEFT NANTUCKET TWO DAYS AFTER MR. HOLBROOK gave him the check for his mother and the deed to Maggie’s house. He’d made arrangements to take some leave to “clear his head,” he told Duncan.
“You’ve been through a lot,” Duncan said. “Take your time.”
Cody turned to go, but something stopped him. “How hard would it be to put in for a transfer?”
Duncan frowned. “I thought you were liking it here.”
Cody shrugged. “I don’t think it’s right for me.”
“That’s too bad,” the master chief said. “They’re talking about promoting you. Everyone’s been really impressed with the job you’ve done here.”
Cody thought about the job he’d done. He thought about how he’d begun to treat the guys the way Louisa treated everyone she met. It had made a difference, and he’d made an impact. Leaving would be difficult for a lot of unexpected reasons.
“If they promoted me, where would you go?”
“They want me back in San Diego.” Duncan had family out there, and Cody knew it would be a good transfer for his friend.
Cody shook his head. “Nantucket is no good for me, Chief.” He stood opposite Duncan’s desk, unwilling to go into details but certain that the only way he’d ever move on—from Louisa, from her father’s confession, from the ghost of his own father—was to get off the island once and for all.
“Take your two weeks’ leave. Think it