man I’ve ever laid eyes on, and just because he reawakened me, and just because he’s smart and nice, doesn’t mean I’m just going to bend over and say yes, sir. I look up at the ceiling, praying I’ll have the strength to read this contract and have conviction about whatever decision I make.
Oh, who am I kidding? If I’m going to read this, I need all the courage I can muster. When the wine is done, I breathe a sigh of relief. The day is finished, I’m alive, and I’ll be okay. I look around at my small studio, proud that it’s mine. No, it’s not fancy, but my rent is paid to the penny. It’s also very tidy, just like my parents always taught me to be. My bookshelves line the wall adjacent to my bed, filled with my favorite classics and the more recent books I’ve been reading, which I bought in paperback in addition to my ebook versions. Beside the television, I put up white shelves that are filled with photos of my parents and friends. It reminds me that I’m not some weak girl without any friends or family. I’m educated. I’m smart. And I have a job. Even if I decided to quit after reading this contract, I believe I’ll be able to find something else.
Suddenly, I have a pang for my father. I pick up my cell and dial him.
“Hi, honey!” he greets enthusiastically.
“Hey, Dad. How’s Florida?”
“It’s good. Spent the day at the golf course with Jim Hadanberg. Weather was perfect. How’s your new job going?”
“It’s okay. One of the owners of Hawthorne Hotels & Resorts came to town, so everyone is on their best behavior.”
“Is he American?”
“Nope. Irish, actually.”
“Huh. That’s nice, I guess. Tell him your old man would love to join his club in Palm Beach. It’s very exclusive, you know. Not for the likes of a man like me. But who knows, maybe if you have an in, you can ask him.”
“Sure thing.” My heart warms. “He seems like a decent guy. You’d like him, actually.” I lift the hem of my blouse, gliding over it with my thumb.
“Would I?”
“Yes. He’s fancy but not pretentious.”
My father is silent, and I hold my breath. My father has always had a sixth sense when it comes to me, and suddenly I’m wondering if he can tell through the phone line that I’m grappling with something—or thinking of something. Hopefully, he can’t tell that I’m about to read a damn Non-Disclosure Agreement given to me by said owner because he wants to dom—
“Your mom hated pretentious.” He laughs. “Remember the steak house, Peter Lugers? She made that reservation two months in advance but forced us to leave early because of those asshole waiters.”
I laugh out loud. “Yeah. I was so mad at the time. Embarrassed to leave the dining room.” I blink quickly a few times, picturing my mother so clearly. My father in his wrinkled suit, having come straight off the train to the restaurant. My mom wearing her best pearl earrings and a white dress with blue flowers, feeling weak from chemo but wanting us to have a night out on the town. She wore the brunette wig that night, the one that scratched her scalp but looked the best.
“Me, too. We stayed long enough to see those thick cuts of steak make it to our neighbors but not long enough to enjoy it ourselves.” He chuckles.
“We should go back sometime. Have a glass of wine and finally finish the meal. For her.”
“Yeah.” I nod. “We should.”
“All right, sweetheart. The news is coming on, and I want to watch it. Crazy world we’re in!”
“You got that right. Bye, Dad. Love you.”
“Love you more.”
Finally, I lift the pages in my hand. It’s time.
Agreement between Beckett Hawthorne, the Dominant, and Sarah Golden, the Submissive.
Forty minutes later…
Jesus Christ. Moses. God. What is this? My fingers are itching to call one of my friends, but I’m not even sure that’s the right move. Strangely enough, I feel like regardless of whether or not I even entertain this contract, I don’t want to embarrass Beckett by having others know about his sexual desires. Clearly, this is a private thing. Dominant? Submissive? I mean, sure, I’ve read all the books. Basically memorized Fifty Shades. But could this really be me?
I think back on all the giddy laughter between me, Faith, and now Julia as well, about my favorite romance characters. All the dominant fictional men I’ve touched