Iron Crowned Page 0,57

didn't have the energy to bathe fully and settled for washing my hands and face. Nonetheless, back in our camp - which really was just a place to sleep since we needed no fire here - Kiyo insisted on changing my bandages again.

"You tore more stitches in the lich fight," he said with dismay. "We can keep the blood loss down, but you have to get this treated soon."

I nodded without hearing him, my mind still wrapped around what I'd learned. Once he'd pulled my shirt back down, I turned and faced him. "Dorian knew, Kiyo. Dorian knew what this crown could do. That's why he wanted it. I wouldn't be surprised ..." It killed me to say the next words. "I wouldn't be surprised if he set it up from the beginning with Masthera."

I again expected mockery from Kiyo, but his dark eyes were serious and full of sympathy. "I wouldn't be surprised either. I'm sorry."

It was true what I'd said in the cave: I was such an idiot. I should have listened to my initial instincts, the ones that said a battle prize wasn't enough to end a war. A prize that could strip Katrice's kingdom from her? Yeah. That would end a war, true, but Dorian should have told me. He should have told me what the crown's real threat was.

And then you wouldn't have done it, a voice in my head pointed out. I knew it was the truth. I wouldn't have risked my life - or Kiyo's - to come after some artifact that put me one step closer to being the conqueror everyone expected me to be.

"Dorian knew," I repeated. "Dorian let me risk my life for this."

Kiyo stayed silent for a few moments, staring off into the rapidly darkening trees around us. "You said he resisted at first, though. Until he realized I could go."

"Was that an act, though?" I rested my forehead in my hands, doubting everything I'd come to believe about Dorian. I'd so, so wanted to trust him. "Did he pretend to be hesitant, knowing I'd be suspicious if he was aggressive?"

"For all his faults ... I don't know. He does care about you, Eugenie. I don't think he'd carelessly throw you into danger. He might have seriously waited until he knew you could go in with backup."

I sighed and lifted my head back up. "You're giving an awful lot of credit to someone you hate."

A small smile crossed Kiyo's lips. "I don't hate him, not exactly. I don't trust him. I don't like him. And ... well, I certainly carry a grudge for his taking you from me."

I narrowed my eyes, a spark of anger flaring up in me. "No one 'took' me. I'm not something you guys can just pass around!"

"Sorry, sorry," he said hastily. "I didn't mean it like that. I just mean that after we split up, it's been hard seeing you with him. That's petty jealousy, I admit it. But I also hate that his grand, brash action won you over and drove the final stake in our relationship."

"His 'grand, brash action?' Do you mean killing Leith? I'll never regret him doing that," I said fiercely.

Despite how dark it was growing out here, I could see Kiyo's eyes boring into me. "Do you mean that, Eugenie? Was your personal vengeance worth all the people who've died since then?"

I looked away. "He deserved it. You don't understand."

"I understand perfectly well what he did. And if I could have? I would have done a lot more than run a sword through him. Really, that was almost merciful compared to what he deserved. But the fallout ..."

"I know." I sighed again. "I know what I've caused, all the upheaval in this world." A sudden odd thought occurred to me. "Maiwenn ..."

Kiyo tensed, not following my jump in thoughts. "What about her?"

"Dorian knew that too! She knows what the crown does; I'm certain of it. That's why he kept telling me not to let you talk to her!" I shot up, full of fury now. "Goddamnit! He played me. He's always played me! It doesn't matter if he loves me. It's his nature. He can't love without using it to his advantage. Goddamnit!" My cry rang out into the empty night as I paced irritably.

In seconds, Kiyo was up too, gripping me by my arms. "Hey, hey. Calm down. He may have tricked you, but he can't make you do anything you don't want to with the crown. You're