I wouldn’t lie to you.” If you ignore that I’m sleeping with Tori. “I am absolutely fine the way I am, and I’m not ready to date. Not seriously. So give me a break, yeah?”
She stared at me for a moment. “Does that mean you’re dating casually?”
Was a half-truth still a lie?
“Somewhat,” I replied vaguely. “I’ve had a few dates. Nothing serious, just some fun.”
“You sound like a twenty-one-year-old. You shouldn’t be having fun now.”
I got up and walked into the kitchen, shaking my head. “I’m thirty, Kinsley. I’m hardly on my deathbed. If I go into a date with someone and she knows I’m not looking for anything serious right now and we’re both on board with that, there’s no issue.”
She sighed. “So you’re sleeping around.”
Around my house, yeah.
“Listen to me.” I stopped in the doorway and looked at her, gripping the sides of the frames. “I know you mean well. I know you’re only trying to look out for me the way you think is best, but I’m okay. I’m just fine. If I tell you that, you need to trust that I’m telling you the truth.”
She peered over at me, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Aren’t you lonely?”
“With Grandpa asking me for tips on how to woo the new resident at the senior home and living in a fishbowl of gossip?”
“Colton.”
“No. I’m not,” I said honestly. “I enjoy my own company and occasionally that of other people. Besides, it’s hard to be lonely when you keep coming over here with women you think I should date.”
Kinsley pursed her lips. “You want me to back off. It’s fine. I understand.” She grabbed her purse from the floor and her book from the table and got up. “I’ll leave you to your own company.”
I laughed and didn’t move. I was blocking the only exit from the living room.
She cleared her throat. “Excuse me.”
“Pull your bookmark out of your ass, sis,” I said, looking down at her with my lips curled. “I am not telling you to back off. Just… ease it up a little.”
She pouted.
“I’m okay,” I insisted. “And I need you to believe that, okay?”
“I just… Everyone is pairing off and you’re single.”
“I’ve been in a relationship for most of the time all you guys have been single,” I reminded her. “I think I can survive a few months being alone. If I need your help, I promise I’ll ask.”
She paused. “I’m being an annoying little sister, aren’t I?”
“I cannot tell you how annoying without hurting your feelings.”
“Ugh.” She hugged me. “Fine. Okay. I’m sorry.”
I returned the gesture. “Don’t be sorry for caring. Just go care about someone else for a little while.” I laughed and released her. “And no, I’m not bringing your pizza up to Josh’s.”
“Oh, please.”
“Nope. I’ll tell the pizza guy to take it up there, but if he doesn’t, you’ve gotta come get it.”
“Fine.” With a long-suffering sigh, she finally left me to it.
When I heard the sound of the front door locking into place, I thanked whoever made doors that couldn’t be opened from the outside unless you had a key.
My sister did not have a key.
There was a very good reason for that.
I leaned against the door. If she was going to push the idea of me dating, I was going to have to come up with a better excuse. While I didn’t give a damn if everyone knew Tori and I were sleeping together, I knew she didn’t want anyone to know.
And I was fine with that.
It was never going to be anything more. It was sex. That was it. She’d made that clear from day one, and so had I.
I had no intention of changing our arrangement.
She didn’t need to know I had feelings that were becoming increasingly misplaced.
Entirely fucking misplaced, actually.
While my relationship with Amber had come to a slow, natural end as we’d both realized we wanted different things, whatever I had with Tori was the opposite, despite our history.
Years of hate.
Years of bitching.
Years of winding the ever-loving fuck out of each other just because we could.
Before the first night we’d slept together, I would have sworn I’d never even consider kissing her. I’d have laughed—and did laugh—at anyone who thought there was something between us.
Then tequila and wine did us dirty.
And we did the fucking dirty.
Again and again and a-fucking-gain.
There was no going back from that point.
My feelings hit with the speed of an asteroid and the power of an avalanche; hard and fast and uncontrollable,