sound of his voice. It weakened me. But I was simply too remote from pain, too tired.
"'And yet you are here with me now. Do you mean to avenge them?'
"'No,' he said.
"'They were your fellows, you were their leader,' I said.'Yet you didn't warn them I was out for them, as I warned you?'
"'No,' he said.
"'But surely you despise me for it. Surely you respect some rule, some allegiance to your own kind.'
"'No,' he said softly.
"It was amazing to me how logical his response was, even though I couldn't explain it or understand it.
"And something came clear to me out of the remote regions of my own relentless considerations.'There were guards; there were those ushers who slept in the theater. Why weren't they there when I entered? Why weren't they there to protect the sleeping vampires?'
"'Because they were in my employ and I discharged them. I sent them away,' Armand said.
"I stopped. He showed no concern at my facing him, and as soon as our eyes met I wished the world were not one black empty ruin of ashes and death. I wished it were fresh and beautiful, and that we were both living and had love to give each other.'You did this, knowing what I planned to do?
"'Yes,' he said.
"'But you were their leader! They trusted you. They believed in you. They lived with you!' I said.'I don't understand you... why... ?'
"'Think of any answer you like,' he said calmly and sensitively, as if he didn't wish to bruise me with any accusation or disdain, but wanted me merely to consider this literally.'I can think of many. Think of the one you need and believe it. It's as likely as any other. I shall give you the real reason for what I did, which is the least true: I was leaving Paris. The theater belonged to me. So I discharged them.'
"'But with what you knew... '
"'I told you, it was the actual reason and it was the least true,' he said patiently.
"'Would you destroy me as easily as you let them be destroyed?' I demanded.
"'Why should I?' he asked.
"'My God,' I whispered.
"'You're much changed,' he said.'But in a way, you are much the same.'
"I walked on for a while and then, before the entrance to the Louvre, I stopped. At first it seemed to me that its many windows were dark and silver with the moonlight and the thin rain. But then I thought I saw a faint light moving within, as though a guard walked among the treasures. I envied him completely. And I fixed my thoughts an him obdurately, that guard, calculating how a vampire might get to him, how take his life and his lantern and his keys. The plan was confusion. I was incapable of plans. I had made only one real plan in my life, and it was finished.
"And then finally I surrendered. I turned to Armand again and let my eyes penetrate his eyes, and let him draw close to me as if he meant to make me his victim, and I bowed my head and felt his firm arm around my shoulder. And, remembering suddenly and keenly Claudia's words, what were very nearly her last . words -that admission that she knew that I could love Armand because I had been able to love even her-those words struck me as rich and ironical, more filled with meaning than she could have guessed.
"'Yes,' I said softly to him,'that is the crowning evil, that we can even go so far as to love each other, you and I. And who else would show us a particle of love, a particle of compassion or mercy? Who else, knowing us as we know each other, could do anything but destroy us? Yet we can love each other.'
"And for a long moment, he stood there looking at me, drawing nearer, his head gradually inclining to one side, his lips parted as if he meant to speak. But then he only smiled and shook his head gently to confess he didn't understand.
"But I wasn't thinking of him anymore. I had one of those rare moments when it seemed I thought of nothing. My mind had no shape. I saw that the rain had stopped. I saw that the air was clear and cold. That the street was luminous. And I wanted to enter the Louvre. I formed words to tell Armand this, to ask him if he might help me do what was necessary to have the Louvre