thought Logan would have something to say about her little reveal, but he’d just held her hand until the food arrived.
He hadn’t brought up her reservations again.
She’d had this conversation a few times over the years. Mostly to set the proper expectations for a friends-with-benefits situation or a no-strings-attached arrangement. No one had ever second-guessed her. So why was Logan’s easy acceptance bothering her?
Was it that he didn’t want to keep her around that long? Or was he arrogant enough to think he could change her?
Knowing him, it was probably the latter.
So where was the grand speech?
Sometimes this man made no sense to her. None at all.
“Wow.” Logan chuckled and wiped his fingers off.
She blinked at the TV, but it was too late. She’d missed whatever it was. The main character of the movie reached down and helped the love interest to her feet, then both stared into the camera as it drew away from them.
Fuck.
She’d practically missed the whole damn movie.
Kelsey leaned back and sighed, frustrated with herself. Seriously, what was wrong with her? Was there a pill she could take?
Logan picked up the tray they’d set between them for the chips, salsa and queso then placed it on the floor. He then reached over and tugged on her arm.
“Come here,” he muttered.
She let him pull her sideways toward him until he could tuck her under his arm.
“Do you want to talk about whatever you’re thinking about?” he asked.
“No.”
He rest his cheek against the top of her head. “Okay. Well... I’m assuming you’re already thinking about how this will end.”
She bit the inside of her cheek.
He peered down at her. “Neither of us know the future. Unless you’re holding out on me?”
“God, I wish,” she muttered.
“Stop worrying about how things will end. Be in the moment. What’s the point of sneaking around behind the guys’ backs if you’ve already left me in your head?”
Kelsey swallowed. Or tried to. It was hard to do with the lump lodged in her throat.
“Evan knows,” she said instead.
Logan’s lips twisted up into a wry smile. “Oh. I know. We talked about this earlier, remember? He basically said if I fuck up, he’ll kick my ass because somebody has to be willing to do that.”
“Shit, that’s right.” She rubbed the side of her face. She twisted to face him. “I’m perfectly capable of kicking ass on my own, just so you know.”
Logan grinned. “I’m very well aware.”
Gosh, when he smiled...
Her heart did little fluttery things in her chest.
He was different with her now. Before the last few days, she could maybe think of two or three instances when Logan had relaxed enough to show any emotion, much less a smile. There was no doubt he was more relaxed and open with her in private. Even knowing she would leave him.
She wanted to let go of her fears and just be here with him.
If it didn’t work out, oh well. But she wanted to try. To give it a shot. A real one.
“I’m not good at relationships. Not even friendships. Baruti and Samuel have been it for me the last few years. Shit. I’ve done the last two Christmases with Baruti’s family because he took pity on me. I didn’t even realize I was missing out on things like friends until the girls were just there. What I’m trying to say is that I don’t want to be focused on the end and I’m going to try to...just be. I guess.”
Logan reached over and took her hand. He lifted it to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles, while she sat there watching him.
What was she supposed to do?
Sitting here felt awkward.
“That sounds great start,” he said.
“It’s not all that fair, though. To you, I mean.”
He lifted a shoulder. “Life isn’t fair.”
“Then—why?”
His gaze dipped to her lips. “Because I’m done acting like I don’t want to kiss you every time I see you. And if getting the chance to kiss, you means living with the risk of you dumping my ass, then so be it. At least I tried?”
Heat flared in her veins.
He thought that? Every time?
She never would have known from his cool exterior.
He kept talking despite her still processing his first statement. “Also, you can’t tell the future. Just because it hasn’t worked out with anyone else doesn’t mean we will be a disaster. It could be different.”
She fought the urge to press her hand to her chest, to calm her heart. It was beating away at her ribs as if