done? He’d been so enraged, so incredulous that Navid, his Navid, could have deceived him. The last twenty-four hours had made Zana dizzy from how many times he switched from anger to astonishment to anger again.
Now only deep sorrow remained, and a heavy sense of guilt that made his head pound.
He’d been horribly wrong.
The dark trees swooshed past the window, ominous shadows passing by, unattainable and gone like all the errors from the past Zana couldn’t repair. His son’s words repeated in his mind.
“You’re so busy you don’t even notice him anymore.”
He did notice Navid. God, did he ever. He still fell asleep every night with his husband on his mind, and Navid was the first he thought of every morning when he woke up. But how many times had Navid waited for him, and he’d been late? How many times had he canceled or postponed dinners, vacations, anniversary celebrations? And Navid had never given him a single reproachful look. Always quietly offering his support, by Zana’s side no matter what, waiting with his arms open whenever Zana returned.
“I’ve seen you take him for granted since I remember.”
That wasn’t true. Navid was his treasure. His husband and his son were his greatest pride and joy. In his eyes, Navid was still the most beautiful man in the world, the purest soul, the most generous heart… Zana did not take him for granted.
“You’ve made him unhappy. You broke his heart.”
For Caleb’s final accusation, Zana had no excuse. After all those years, Zana had failed Navid after all. He’d hurt his beloved darling.
He could still see the hopeful gleam in the eyes of the eighteen-year-old boy like it was yesterday. And he could see the small figure curled up on the floor, shaking, crushed under the weight of Zana’s anger.
He pressed his hands to his chest and gritted his teeth. He tried to swallow the pain, but he couldn’t. It throbbed behind his ribs, burned up his throat and in his eyes.
What have I done?
It was almost midnight when he finally arrived home. The house was dark. He rushed to the master bedroom on the upper floor, his hasty steps echoing in the quiet hallway. Carefully, he opened the door. He expected to find Navid in bed. Maybe not asleep, no, but there all the same. Like every night.
The bed was made, the room empty.
Zana swiveled on his feet, shoes squeaking, and strode to the study. Empty. The door to the upstairs living room stood open, but nobody was there. Library, both guest rooms, Zana’s study, Caleb’s old room, Caleb’s study…all empty.
He hurried down the stairs and went through each and every room on the first floor. Even the kitchen. Desperate, he hesitated in front of the corridor that led to the northern section of the house, reserved for staff. He wouldn’t wake Navid’s butler just yet. One last place remained where he hadn’t looked. He walked to the living room and slid the door to the patio open.
There, under the cherry tree, a black silhouette was visible in the night lights. His head bent, Navid sat on the bench, alone in the dark. He didn’t look up, even though he must have heard Zana approach.
“Navid. Why are you out here? You must be cold.”
It took a while before Navid answered. His weak voice wobbled. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you worry.”
It’s not about me worrying. It’s about you freezing.
But Zana had scolded his husband enough to last a lifetime.
“I spoke to Caleb.”
A shiver ran through Navid. “He’s safe?”
“Yes, he’s unharmed and comfortable.”
Zana crouched in front of Navid and covered his clenched fists in his lap. Navid’s hands were ice cold. Zana needed to repent. But first, he needed to tell Navid the truth.
“They’re already married, Navid. They got married at the courthouse two weeks ago. Caleb is recovering from heat.” He tightened his grip on Navid’s fists. Navid sat still like a statue in the almost darkness, and Zana couldn’t see his face. He only felt the tremors running through Navid’s body. “I’ve given them my blessing.”
Navid looked up. His eyes were red and swollen, his features haggard. What have I done to him?
“You’ve given Caleb your blessing?” Navid asked as if he’d misheard.
“I won’t push Caleb away and destroy our family. I can’t.”
Navid’s face fell. Deep lines appeared by his lovely mouth as tears spilled and ran down his cheeks. “Forgive me. I’m begging you. You’re my everything. You and Caleb. My everything. Please, my love, forgive me.”
Zana