Innocent - Roe Horvat Page 0,27
book in his lap, holding his belly, imagining. He looked forward to it so much.
Four more years.
What would Navid do until he became a dad?
Zana made sure Navid would miss nothing. He had a beautiful home, more freedom than he’d ever have use for, staff at his fingertips. A gold credit card he hadn’t used yet. What would he buy? He had everything already.
He stepped onto the wet lawn and scrutinized the pines and birches and the red maple tree he liked so much. Would Zana allow him to do something in the garden? Navid would like that. He’d enjoyed the greenhouses at his father’s estate. As a child, he used to spend hours just watching the gardeners at work. And there was so much space here. Yet gardening was a lonely pursuit, wasn’t it?
Another dream reappeared, an old and foolish one. Was there even a chance? Zana was so different from any of the alphas in Navid’s family. Generous and considerate. Maybe…but no. Zana was a good man. Almost too kind. Navid wouldn’t misuse his trust and upset him. He wouldn’t ask.
He strolled back into the house. He’d take a shower and try reading again while he’d wait for Zana in the living room.
It was almost nine when a car engine purred outside. Navid ran to the atrium, and sure enough, Zana walked in at the same moment Navid skidded to a halt in the middle of the room.
Zana’s handsome face broke into a wide smile.
“You’re happy to see me, love?”
Navid didn’t reply but threw himself in Zana’s arms and took a deep breath. The scent of Zana’s cologne enveloped him. Finally. The day had been endless. Fourteen hours since Zana had left in the morning.
“Have you missed me, darling?”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been gone for so long. Tomorrow will be better, I promise. What did you do today?” He draped his arm over Navid’s shoulders and led him to the dining room. Their butler had arranged their dinner in the usual style: two sets of plates and silverware opposite each other on the big round table. It seemed a little impersonal. They were too far away; Navid couldn’t hold Zana’s hand. Like every evening, he sat down as Zana held his chair for him. Zana rounded the table and sat on the other side, loosening his tie.
“I’ve been reading, but it was difficult to focus,” Navid said. “I went running and then to the beach with Geoff.”
“Are you happy with him?”
“Yes, of course.” Navid liked Geoff. He was calm and always perfectly professional, yet kind and even funny sometimes in that mild, subtle way of his.
Zana paused with a glass of water halfway to his lips. “Then what’s the gloom I see in your eyes?”
How can he notice? He’s barely been home for two minutes. Navid bit his lip. He couldn’t lie—he’d never lie to his husband—but he couldn’t say the truth either.
Zana sighed and put his glass down, but before he could press him, Amid entered. The butler served them in silence. Only when he’d left did Zana seek Navid’s gaze again.
“Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you, or do you need more time to think about it?” Zana’s question was gentle, but unease dripped from his words. Guilt washed over Navid. I’m ungrateful and spoiled.
“I’m sorry I made you worry. It’s nothing important, I promise.”
“Then tell me.”
What to say so he wouldn’t have to lie? “When you’re gone for work, I want to wait for you and be content.”
“But you’re not?”
Navid didn’t dare to look up and see Zana’s expression.
“I’m sorry.”
“Navid, you’re alone for the entire day in an empty house. You go to the city maybe once a week. You never go shopping or to a restaurant. I saw the bills. You haven’t used the card I gave you. Not once. I thought you liked the quiet. I know you love to read and walk. But you can do whatever you want, darling. Please don’t wait for me here alone. I don’t need you to.”
And now Zana sounded frustrated. Navid was so selfish. He’d been married for four weeks, and he’d already disappointed his husband.
“I’m sorry, Zana. Forgive me. Do you want me to come to the city and have lunch with you more often?”
“No. Not unless it’s something you want. I wish I could leave the office every day at three and run home to you and spend the rest of the day in your arms. But I can’t.”
Navid kept his eyes on