loved, and I too had fallen for it all. He had taught me so much, and now he was ruining it all with his bitterness.
I didn’t know why it had turned out this way. Nor did I know what we were going to do about it. But something had to change, and soon.
If Beckett didn’t do it, then I would. I might be the perpetual middle child of our group of five, but sometimes it felt as if I were years older than my family members. As if I had lived a thousand lives in their span of one.
But no, that wasn’t right. They had each been through their personal journeys and hells over time. But maybe losing Jonah had changed things for me. My heart ached at the thought, and I gripped the bathroom sink, trying to steady my breathing.
I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with Jonah’s brother. I had married Jonah because he was my best friend, but I hadn’t loved him.
Not the way I loved Jacob. And maybe that was wrong…or beyond a mistake. But I didn’t know how to fix it. I looked at my reflection and wiped the tears from my face, annoyed that I was crying over this.
I couldn’t reconcile the girl I had been with Jonah with the woman I was now with Jacob. Only I shouldn’t have to. Jonah would understand. He had never been the jealous type, and he loved his brother. No, the more I thought about it, the one thing I knew was that Jonah would understand my feelings for Jacob.
The problem was, Jacob wouldn’t understand.
You have work to do, and that means getting over yourself.
I pushed away thoughts of Jonah and Jacob because they weren’t going to help anybody. Instead, I showered, did my hair and makeup, and finished getting ready to face the day. I loved my job, I loved creating, and I loved my family. But I knew going into work today with my father would probably be a bit too much.
The dynamics at the office were off, and I didn’t want to go in at all. I could work from home, but I wouldn’t do that because Paige was there, as were my other siblings. I didn’t want to lose my time with them.
I honestly didn’t know what to do.
I made myself coffee in a travel mug, then headed out to my car. I risked a glance over at Jacob’s, but I couldn’t tell if he was home or not. He was probably already out for the day. He worked long hours just like I did—sometimes longer. He didn’t have a group of friends, really. Though I knew my brothers would probably invite him to something soon. Either to interrogate him or because they were nice people and knew that Jacob didn’t really have any friends here.
“Annabelle,” a familiar voice said, and I looked over to see Hotch making his way out to his car. He had a travel mug in his hand, his work bag in the other.
“Good morning, Hotch.”
“Good morning. Have a good day at work. Yay for coffee, am I right?” he said and lifted his mug.
I smiled, waved, and made my way back to my car. I could always count on Hotch to make me smile, even if there was no spark between us.
I made my way into the office and saw Paige already at her desk, phone to her ear, her fingers clicking away on the keys of her computer. She grinned, her planner outstretched, and her tablet next to her. She was in the zone. I just smiled, loving how my sister could tackle anything. She kept us all on our toes and in line, and I was grateful for it.
I went to my office, set my things down, and looked up as Archer walked into the room. He was a little more rumpled than usual, and I frowned.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
He glanced at me and snorted. “Wow, good morning to you, too. How much coffee have you had?”
I grimaced. “Sorry, you just don’t have as much product in your hair, and you look like you didn’t sleep all night.” A lazy smile crossed my twin’s face, and I shuddered. “Never mind, I don’t want to know.”
“What? I was going to ask why you have dark circles under your eyes. But, hopefully, it’s for the same reason.” I met my twin’s gaze, and his smile faltered for a minute. “Shit. Are you okay?”
I lifted my chin and did