me even more. I had this overwhelming need to protect and didn’t want her even an inch away from me.
“My life has always involved lies. I want to change that. I don’t want to lie again. I don’t want this baby to have to hustle. I want so much more for them.”
I kissed her head again. “I know. And don’t worry. I believe you about the baby. The baby will have the best. Never doubt that. We don’t need to discuss this any further.”
“I know you say that, and I know you think you—”
“Shh,” I interrupted. “You need your rest. We both do. I think we’ve talked enough for one night. Sleep.”
She released a breath and placed her palm over mine that rested on her stomach.
No more words.
Just us. Just the three of us.
15
Abilene
Things settled into a bit of a rhythm over the next few weeks. Beau worked and I read books and watched old movies on the TV Mrs. H got me at Beau’s request. I loved the glamour of old Hollywood and could lose long afternoons watching Gene Kelly movies. I’d also watched almost the entire Hitchcock catalogue.
“What do you even like about these old movies?” Beau asked as he closed his laptop at the end of another endless day.
I looked up from where I’d been laid out on the floor on my side, eating popcorn and laughing my ass off at one of the amazing singing and dance numbers in Singin’ in the Rain.
I grabbed the remote and rewound. “Are you kidding? Watch this. Donald O’Connor does a running wall flip. No special effects, he’s just a badass.”
I played the movie forward, laughing in astonishment when the young Donald O’Connor pulled off the amazing feat, running at the wall and then flipping over with the ease of any modern parkour star.
I grinned as I looked from the screen back to Beau. “Badass, right?”
There was a smile on his face, but he wasn’t looking at the screen. “Badass indeed,” he said quietly.
I swallowed and sat up from my laid out stance on the plush floor rug. “So, um.” I licked my fingertips free of salty butter, a movement which did not go unnoticed by Beau. His eyes zeroed in on my lips as I licked each finger.
Oh shit, that was hot. I pulled my last finger from my mouth with a little pop and felt my cheeks heat.
I looked Beau up and down. Everything had been so different the past few weeks. He’d been so… attentive. I imagined he was driving Mrs. H nuts with his insistence on overhauling the menu, but she’d risen to the task. She made me green smoothies for breakfast every morning, and just this past week the nausea had been slowly settling down.
But the weeks before that, Beau wouldn’t let me just hide out in the bathroom during the nauseous mornings anymore.
No, he insisted I keep the door open, and he’d come in and check on me. On really bad mornings, he’d stay beside me while I wallowed by the porcelain throne. He’d hold my hair back, rub my back, and help me into the shower after my stomach finally settled to get cleaned up.
He made sure there were always crackers by my bedside and that I ate some before I ever got out of bed. One of the many things he’d read in the pregnancy books—which he’d read cover to cover. I was almost certain that he was now more prepared for this baby than I was. Which was only slightly disconcerting, considering that sometimes it still felt completely unreal to me.
I mean, I couldn’t actually be about to have a baby in six months. That was ridiculous. Absolutely freaking bonkers.
Except that Mrs. H had come through after all. She’d found a doctor to come visit on the down-low.
It was a former belle, who Mrs. H believed could be trusted to keep our secret. The Order had no more sway over the former belle because her dream had been to be put through medical school. Well, the woman was a doctor now in Atlanta, and when Mrs. H had explained my situation, the woman had felt compassionate enough to agree to see me. Especially when Mrs. H explained that Beau would pay handsomely for her services.
So last week she’d arrived and been discretely smuggled into our room by Mrs. H. My belly was still flat. The only change I’d noticed in my body was that my breasts were getting a little heavier,