because I deserve to be trapped in a horror house, haunted by illusions of everyone who has died because of me.
I watch them as they leave the shop, and Darren turns one last time before getting in the car, a threat in his eyes.
It’s safe to say that I’ll remember his face. It’s the face of someone who sees me as a villain in his story, and when he’s older and stronger, and if I’m somehow still alive, he will hunt me down, take everything I love, and kill me.
Fourteen
The Odds
BRIGHTON
These past few days have been a fevered nightmare that have taken so much from me—my blood; my steady consciousness; my time, which was already running out. The two practitioners, Dr. Swensen and Dr. Salinas, tell me all about how I’ve lost four days. Somehow even with the most sleep I’ve ever had, I’m groggy, like I might pass out again any minute, but they keep talking at me about how difficult it is to cleanse my blood.
My arm feels even stiffer than before. They must’ve failed to save me. I inspect myself, discovering that my arm is tightly wrapped in a soothing silk bandage. Dr. Salinas tells me that it’s made from basilisk cocoons. She goes over the list of antivenom serums she’s given me, as if I’m going to be familiar with any of these things. What I do know is that this medical bill is going to be unimaginably expensive. Though the chances of anyone in my family living long enough to have to worry about paying a single dollar is slim, hopefully the bill doesn’t follow Emil into his next life.
“Am I dying anytime soon?” I ask because I’m tired of them beating around the bush.
“The venom is still spreading, but we’ve managed to slow it down,” Dr. Salinas says.
“But the blood poisoning from before is another matter,” Dr. Swensen says.
Two hospitals, one verdict. I’m as good as dead.
“Where’s Emil?”
“You can see him soon,” Dr. Salinas says. “I want to give you a fresh wrap on your arm to avoid infection.”
“I want to see my brother now!”
They back off and leave to get Emil.
This brings me back to Dad’s funeral. Emil and Ma really went for it with their eulogies, but it felt impossible to remember the good after watching Dad die. Then one minute I was in the front row while Dad’s boss at the Lucille Barker Theater shared a few words and the next I was standing at the podium with Emil at my side. I couldn’t stop talking about what I miss already: Dad singing along to songs in Spanish that only Ma understood; asking him to quiz me on prep work so I could see him smile as I answered everything correctly; inviting me and Emil on grocery runs; how he never settled for one-word responses when asking about our day.
I was keeping it together while others delivered their eulogies, but I lost my mind when Dad’s doctor was behind the podium and expressing his regrets. During all that time in the hospital, Dr. Queen was always so appreciative of Emil’s kind nature and patience, but I was a nightmare to anyone, especially Dr. Queen, who stood in my way when I wanted to see Dad. At the funeral, I let him have it one last time, even though Emil and Prudencia begged me to calm down for Ma’s sake if no one else. But I didn’t stop until I chased Dr. Queen out of the funeral home, blaming him for putting Dad through that clinical trial that killed him sooner.
I decide what I do with my remaining time. No one else.
It’s not long before there’s a knock on the door and Emil comes in. He doesn’t say anything; he just hugs me, which is a surprise given how I treated him. But when he starts crying I spit out the question I’ve been terrified to ask since being awake.
“Ma’s dead, isn’t she?”
Emil backs away, wiping his tears as he sits beside me on the bed. “No. I mean I don’t know.”
“Why don’t you know? What has everyone been doing while I’ve been asleep?”
Apparently a lot has been going on, including a visit from Congresswoman Sunstar and Senator Lu, but what I don’t hear is action. “So what, the Blood Casters haven’t put out any message like when they wanted the urn back?”
“They traded last time because I took the urn, and Luna needed to kill the ghosts for her Crowned Dreamer