but I still loved her. I took care of her,” I defend, but I can’t even convince myself. Did I try hard enough; listen to her enough?
“We know you love her, Cara, no one blames you for not knowing.” I let Ares’s words settle over me, but they’re not true. I blame myself. I should have tried harder to understand her.
“If there is anyone to blame, it would be me,” Rosa tells me, looking right into my eyes. “I’m the one who convinced her to upload her information in the database; I’m the reason Leon found her.”
Mal objects immediately and argues, “Rosa, you couldn’t have known. Finding your Infinity is a blessing, you were trying to help her.”
“Well, look how that turned out.” I can hear the beginning of tears in her voice, but none fall from her eyes. Rosa’s back is straight as she looks at me like she’s ready to accept any punishment I have to give.
I look away. Could things have been different if she hadn’t interfered? I shake away the question as soon as it forms, there’s no point in dwelling on the what-ifs.
“Why don’t you tell us about the real person to blame for this, Leon.” Ares leans down and grabs my fingers, placing them on his thigh.
“Leon Whitmore,” Rosa says the name like it tastes bad. I expect to feel something hearing his name, but I don’t. It’s no more familiar than any stranger’s. “He took less than twenty-four hours to track Amanda down after we uploaded the information about her and her identifier.” Rosa pulls her hand out from under William’s. “At the time, we thought it was amazing. Amanda had only turned sixteen a few months earlier, and here she was finding one of her partners. Leon was older, already in his early twenties, from a well-established family out West.” Rosa stands then, like she can’t bear to talk about this while she’s sitting.
Walking over to the fireplace, she sets her fingers on the high mantle and looks into the empty hearth. “Amanda was smitten with Leon the moment she laid eyes on him, we all were.” She looks over at her pair with a sad smile on her lips. “He seemed to be just as taken with her. I was sad that I was losing my new friend, but we made promises to talk to each other, even visit since her family was still near.”
“I have a family?” I can’t keep the shock from my tone, and maybe even a little hope is there, too. Maybe Mom is with them.
Rosa’s shoulders fall, “You did, bella ragazza.”
“Jesus Christ,” Milo curses from the couch, his hands balled into fists over his thighs.
“What happened to them?” My voice sounds detached, but I can’t help it. Until this moment I never even let myself believe in the possibility of a family. If we had them, then surely we would have been with them.
“Leon.” Rosa spits the one word like it’s enough of an explanation.
Mal looks over at Rosa then leans forward so his elbows are on his knees. “Amanda stopped returning Rosa’s calls,” he tells me, saving Rosa from speaking. “We didn’t think too much of it at first. They were newly paired, and it can be overwhelming at first.” He looks away clearing his throat.
“Anyway, after a few weeks with no word from Amanda, Will and I tried to get hold of Leon to see if we could get the girls together for a visit or something. Leon took our call, but he was… dodgy.” Mal looks over at William who nods in agreement.
“He said it wasn’t a good time, that Amanda had a lot going on with setting up their new house and getting to know everyone out there. We didn’t like it, but we accepted it. We knew it would make Rosa sad, but what could we do?”
“Time passed, and I made new friends—Linda and Carolyn were new to the area, so I lost track of my old friend.” Rosa’s words are edged with guilt and I can hear the regret in her voice. She turns to face me then, her eyes wide, and she twists her hands together. “I should have known something was wrong.”
In the next second, Mal is up from the couch with his arms wrapped around Rosa’s shoulders. William watches them, longing in his eyes, but instead he turns to face me. He’s letting Mal comfort Rosa so he can tell me more of the story. Voice pitched