her, and she belongs to me. It’s only her—it could only ever be her.
We’re written in the stars.
And I’m going to love Eva, take care of her, protect her, until I take my last breath.
Chapter Twelve
Graham
Six times.
Twice in the bedroom last night, and once in the shower after. We’d tried to go to sleep after that, but wound up making love before we passed out. Then I woke up in the middle of the night, my dick begging to be inside her again. And when morning finally came, so did Eva.
Six times, yet my boxers are growing tight as she hugs me goodbye.
“I’ll call you when I get done with Deanna.”
I lean onto the roof of the limousine. “Have fun.”
Eva grins. “Oh, I will. Deanna is going to want a play-by-play of last night.”
“Don’t forget about this morning,” I say with a wink.
She closes her eyes and her head falls back against the seat. “This morning was my favorite.”
I lick my lips and take a step back. “All right, you need to go now before I climb in that back seat with you.”
She laughs and wiggles her fingers before I close the door.
After the limo disappears at the corner, I make my way up the stairs and into my apartment. I face-plant onto my mattress, inhaling a deep breath of Eva’s scent on my sheets.
Last night was perfect. She is perfect. Our life together is going to be perfect too, once we get out of this place.
First things first ...
I slide out the drawer in my nightstand and slip the envelope out from in between the pages of the old book it’s hidden in. Leaning against the headboard, I tear the tape off the back flap and pull out the contents: Two hand-written letters on thick, white paper.
The first one starts with Dear Mom and Dad, while the other begins with Dear Eva.
My stomach twists.
My mouth goes dry.
I turn them over, scanning the bottom of both pages: Love Always, Eric.
The papers fall onto my comforter as I stare blankly at the swirls of black ink that make up Eric’s suicide letters.
The letters Eva said Eric never left.
The letters her father had hidden in his office.
The letters I found while breaking into his safe.
No, no, no!
I drag my hands down my face and clasp them around the back of my neck.
Why does Montalbano have these, and why doesn’t Eva know?
This is going to change everything.
As much as I don’t want to, as sick as I feel, I know what I have to do next: I have to read these letters and find out what Montalbano has to hide.
I pick up the letters and start with the first.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I wish there was another way. I wish I hadn’t gotten myself into this mess. I wish I wasn’t so screwed up. I wish I wasn’t such a disappointment to you. Among the hundreds of things I wish I could change, the thing I wish for most of all is for you to forgive me for what I’ve done.
I know I’ve given you grief over the years. I’ve been suffering through life, barely holding on at times, and I know you don’t understand why. Even I don’t understand it. There’s a constant pain in my heart, a heaviness in my chest, and nothing I do makes it go away. I think that’s why I started gambling. When I win, it makes me feel good. And that’s all I really want—to feel good. To feel happy. To feel normal.
Mom, I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve this. I just hope you know how much I love you. This is not your fault.
Dad, I understand why you wouldn’t help me when I came to you last night. You’ve always taught me to do the right thing, and we both know that bailing me out wouldn’t have helped me. It’d be a temporary fix. I’d end up right back in Brooklyn, gambling away the money again.
This is the only way.
Please forgive me.
Love Always,
Eric
Eric had a gambling problem? Did Eva know about that?
Fuck. I have to tell her. I can’t pretend I never saw them. Not when they’re the one thing Eva wishes she had.
Which means I also have to tell her the truth about me. About what I’ve really been doing while posing as her body guard.
Will she forgive me?
How could she?
Regardless of the outcome, I have to do the right thing, once and for all.
It’s time for this game to end.
Eva
“He’s hung like a horse,