horrible excuse for a human being. I’d not good for you.”
“Yes, you are. You’re everything.”
“No. I’m nothing, just like my family made certain of.” I laughed bitterly, my emotions out of fucking control. I had to let her go.
But I couldn’t.
I needed to give her back her life.
But I wouldn’t.
She was mine.
Mine.
“Stop it! Stop it, Gabriel. You don’t want me to love you, but I do and I won’t stop. I refuse! God help me but I love you and there is nothing that you can say to change my mind.”
Hissing, I dug my fingers into her back as I held her, feeling our combined heartbeats. “You won’t survive.”
“I’ll take my chances.”
I crushed my mouth over hers, my grip on her hair tightening. I wanted all of her, every inch. Every molecule. Every breath. I wanted to drink her in, absorb her goodness. I wanted to consume her, feasting on her beautiful skin and sweet essence. I never wanted to let her go.
And I loved her...
The kiss was manic, crazed, our tongues entwining, our bodies clinging together. She wrapped her hand around my neck, opening up like a beautiful flower that had finally taken a breath of sunshine. Her soft moans were the finest orchestra, the sweetest strings of guitar. I could feast on her for days, taking her to pure ecstasy.
The man.
The killer.
The monster.
As visions of that horrible night swept into my mind—the light drizzle, the horror on Christina’s face, the bank of trees, and the blood—I was driven to a state of madness. Anger. Hate. Sorrow.
I gave Alessandra a hard shove, pushing her against the table. The sound of shattering glass was the real reminder that I refused to drag her into my world.
“Go!” I commanded, pressing the tips of my fingers against my face.
“Gabriel. No.”
“I. Said. Go. Now! I don’t want you.” As I glared at her, the light faded away from her beautiful eyes leaving only anger and sadness, but she obeyed. “Get out.”
I watched as she raced out of the room, could hear her strangled cries. As I slumped against the counter, I knew I’d fallen into the final abyss.
And one I could no longer recover from.
Yet I whispered the words I’d longed to tell her. “I love you.”
* * *
Blackness.
Despair.
Death.
I stood by the doors in my office, staring out at the mountains. My hand had been on the doorknob for almost five minutes, but I was crippled by even the thought of going outside. I slammed my hand against the glass, the frustration continuing to build as thoughts about Christina remained in the forefront of my mind.
She’d been just as sweet and special as Alessandra, her joy in living the only thing that had dragged me from my personal nightmares. Drugs. Alcohol. Partying. That’s all that had mattered until she had come into my life. I’d turned my life around, prepared to share my world with her.
Then fate had intervened, as well as my old ways.
I was to blame.
I’d been lucky no charges were filed, my father’s wealth and influence the reason why. Her family had lost their only daughter and money had fixed everything.
My head ached, the dull pain one I’d had all night. I deserved to feel the anguish. I also deserved never finding love again. After taking a deep breath, I swung open the doors, daring myself to walk outside. The warmth from the bright sun felt good on my face, the skin around the ugliness of what I’d become tingling for the first time in ages.
The last threat had come at almost three in the morning.
You will pay...
I hadn’t bothered to text back. There’d been no point.
I took deliberate steps toward the side of the pool, staring down at the crystal clear water. Alessandra loved the pool, the freedom it gave her.
The privilege I’d allowed her.
My God. What had I become?
I could feel her eyes boring into me, creating a burning sensation crawling down my spine. As I turned to gaze at her window, there was no doubt she was watching me. The little bird in a gilded cage. Bile formed in my throat, the bitter taste just deserts for the way I’d been treating her. Sighing, I looked away, growling the moment my phone began to ring.
I didn’t want to talk to anyone. Fuck them. Fuck the damn world.
Jefferson.
He never called this early.
I debated not answering but knew better than to push fate any harder.
“What fire needs to be put out today?” I asked as I inhaled the sweet