us. He draws back to catch his breath. When I rest a hand over his heart, I can feel it race. His crooked smile brings a tight sensation in my belly. “Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?”
“I’ve wanted to do that since we left ángeles,” I whisper. “Thank you for today. For coming back for me.”
“I will always come back for you.”
Those are bold words, an impossible promise that he can’t actually keep. We don’t live in a world that allows for those kinds of vows. But I choose to believe them. I want to.
He reaches around his neck and unties a black leather cord with a copper coin strung from it. On one side it has the profile of a nameless woman with a laurel crown, and on the other side three stars around the inscribed year, 299. As long as I’ve known him he’s never taken it off. It takes me a moment to realize he’s offering it to me.
I shake my head. “I can’t take that.”
“Can’t?” he asks. “Or won’t?”
“Illan gave you that pendant.”
Dez holds the coin along its edge. “And he got it from my grandfather, who was a blacksmith for the crown. There were exactly ten of them minted before the capital fell under siege by a rebel group from the former queendom of Tresoros and all production stopped. My father says King Fernando keeps a gallery with his trophies, and the other nine coins are there as a reminder that Puerto Leones was once surrounded by enemy lands—Memoria, Tresoros, Sól Abene, Zahara. Their fate was to be conquered by the lions of the coast.”
“How come I’ve never heard that story?” I ask. To be fair, there are dozens of versions that tell of how the Fajardo family of Puerto Leones conquered or “united” the continent. But the queendom of Tresoros was an ally. I didn’t know there were still rebel groups over a century after its fall. I wonder, will we still be in this fight in another few decades?
Dez brings me back to the present by gently tucking my hair behind my ear. His smile is so beautiful it hurts to look at him for too long.
“Consider yourself lucky to miss many of my father’s ramblings of ancient times. That doesn’t change the fact that I want you to have it.”
I shrug my good shoulder. “I can’t wear anything around my neck.”
“Keep it in your pocket. In your boot. Just keep it with you.” He presses it onto my open palm and closes my fingers around it. “It’s worthless if you try to buy anything with it, but it’s the only family heirloom I have.”
“All the more reason I shouldn’t have it.”
He licks his lips and sighs. “When I realized today that you hadn’t gotten out of the village, I knew there was a possibility that I wouldn’t see you again. That I’d never hear you yell at me or correct me when I’m wrong. I’d never hold you or see you in the courtyard back home. I couldn’t bear it, Ren. Everything is going to change soon, and I don’t know who’s going to make it out alive, but I want you to have a part of me.”
“I have nothing to give you, Dez.” Emotions swell in my chest. I lean into him with my eyes closed, because if I look into his eyes I will be weak. I will take his trinket. I will soften when I should be sharp edges and steel. He kisses the mound of my cheekbone, and then I can’t help it. I look.
“You give me your trust, and I know how hard that is for you.”
I’ve known him for too long, and I don’t think he’s ever spoken so honestly. Dez never hides his feelings, but I wonder if there’s something he isn’t telling me. Something about the mission and in the alman stone that is more dangerous than we thought. When he looks at me, I see a flash of fear in his eyes. The Dez I know is not afraid of anything. But maybe I imagine it. Maybe it’s the excitement of the day and the shadows of the setting sun.
“I will cherish it.” I hold the copper coin close to my chest and kiss him once more, too briefly.
From our camp in the distance comes Dez’s name. It’s time to read the alman stone and discover what Celeste San Marina died to protect.
Chapter 5
As the sun sets, we gather closer