doctor’s office, except those will occasionally have whimsical posters or something. The walls are white, the desk is grey. There’s literally nothing personal in the space—not even a single picture frame. You could probably perform open heart surgery on his desk with zero risk of infection.
“There’s nothing here. I don’t know if this is going to work,” I tell Carson.
He moves behind Guy’s desk, opening a few of the drawers. “Au contraire, mon frère. He has stuff, it’s just put in it’s proper place.”
Of course.
We spend the next thirty minutes sticking googley eyes and fake mustaches onto everything we can find. All his pens, a few mechanical pencils, a calculator, a stapler, the doorknob, the light socket, anywhere we can make look like a face. Then for the grand finale, Carson helps me affix an airhorn to his chair. As soon as he sits, he’ll get a nice loud surprise.
Carson and I share a grin as he’s locking up. I can’t wait to find out how he reacts.
“Nothing.” Carson leans into the order window further and shoves his hands into his coat pockets.
“Nothing?” Fred and I repeat at the same time, our voices mingling in surprise.
We’ve been waiting for news all morning, but Carson didn’t come over until we watched Guy leave fifteen minutes ago, stalking out the door and getting into some kind of sleek black SUV and driving off.
“It was more terrifying than if he had yelled or reacted in some way. First thing, he sat down, the horn went off - it was loud - and he,” Carson shakes his head in amazement. “He didn’t. Even. Flinch!”
“Impossible.”
“He didn’t even say anything, just got up and examined the chair like it was expected and removed it.”
“No reaction to the googly eyes, either?”
“Barely. When he saw them, there was a whisper of hesitation, and then he went right back to work.”
“It’s like he’s not even human.”
“There was one thing, though.” He taps a finger on his lips.
“What is it?”
“His mouth twitched when he saw his pen with the mustache, and it wasn’t the normal twist of annoyance. I think he’s in love with you.”
“Because his mouth twitched? You are delusional,” I say.
Fred waves an impatient hand. “We need something else. But how can you prank someone who doesn’t play along? We need something good.”
“He didn’t appear to care, but he’s good at being a robot.”
Fred taps the counter in frustration. “He started this whole thing. Do you think he’ll come up with some retribution?”
Carson shrugs. “If he does, I’m afraid I can’t share, ladies.”
“Why not?” Fred asks.
“I don’t take sides, honey.”
They eye each other for a minute, some kind of wordless communication passing between them that makes me feel like I’m missing part of this conversation. “You helped us with our prank, you’re on our side,” she insists.
“I was lured to the dark side with your witchy cakes and cocktails. It doesn’t count.” He points at Fred’s shirt, which has a picture of Darth Vader and reads, “Welcome to the dark side we have cupcakes.”
“You suck, Carson.”
“Love you, too, Fred. I gotta get back but we’ll chat soon.” He blows a kiss and stalks back across the small alleyway to Decadence.
I turn to Fred. “What now?”
She coughs into her elbow a few times before responding. “I don’t know.” She sniffs.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, fine. Just allergies or something.”
“Uh, Fred, it’s December.”
“I’m fine.” She waves me off. “What’s more important is anticipating Guy’s next move. We have to stay one step ahead. At least. Maybe ten steps ahead.”
I mull it over. “I’m having dinner with Bethany. I’ll ask her. She’s good at this stuff. You want to come?”
“Not this time. I’m a little tired.”
“Oh, no. Still tired?” I examine her a little more closely. Is her face paler than normal? And the coughing…. “Are you getting sick?”
“Absolutely not.” She rubs her head and winces. “Well, maybe?”
“You should go home and rest. Do you want me to call Jack?”
“No. It’s fine. He wasn’t happy when he had to pick me up the other night. He was in the middle of something at work.”
I press my lips against a snarky comment. I’m not sure how I feel about Jack. Fred’s been with him since they were teenagers, but something about him is bit off. He works a lot, which I can understand, but I worry about Fred, especially since they live together but their place is only in his name. If something happened between them…. It’s really none of my business, though, and