he remembered that this was not even her name. She had no name, and neither did he.
Finally, out of breath, and growing leery of the many glares that a deformed, careless, running boy will garner, he slowed down to a walk. He had found Gloria once before, he could find her again the same way, if he wanted to. But it was clear, he’d decided, that Gloria was unreliable, and he was probably better off contriving a new plan, without her. So of course, no sooner had he decided this than he rounded a corner and, his hackles suddenly tingling, he saw across the street Gloria, with her sack, bumping into a well-dressed man. A pair of glasses fell off her head and hit the sidewalk with a crunch.
That’s odd, Myron doubtless thought. I didn’t know she wore glasses.
“Sir! You’ve broken my spectacles!” Gloria, meanwhile, was shouting.
“Er, I’m sorry? But you bumped into me.”
“Impossible! I was standing still, and you walked right into me.” Gloria really chewed the scenery. She needed these glasses for her job as a bus driver for the orphanage. She could not afford another pair, and without the money bus driving brought in she would not be able to afford her dialysis. Also, the orphans would not be able to get to the clinic to be treated for their eczema.
“This is all very sad, but I did not bump into you. And how bad could their eczema be, anyway?”
At that moment Gloria turned around. She pointed right at Myron. “Johnny!” she called. “This man broke my glasses, and I can’t get you to the clinic!”
“Good Lord!” cried the man.
And, after the man had departed, Gloria sauntered over to Myron, counting the roll of bills. “Bourgeois idiot, he’s obviously not from around here,” she was muttering.
“Why did you leave?” Myron asked.
Gloria shrugged. “I figured I’d already told you everything you needed to know.”
“You stuck me with—”
“Okay, so I didn’t want to pay the check. I figured they wouldn’t make you, I figured the waiter’d be too busy looking at you to recognize me if I came back in. Once the idea got in my head, it seemed too good an opportunity to pass up.”
“What about the help you’re supposed to give me? Why did Arthur want to bring me to you if this is all you can do for me?”
She secreted the bills somewhere under her neckline. “Mass, Myron, you don’t think Arthur was really bringing you to me?”
“He said he was heading for Gloria in Shoreditch. How else would I have found you?”
“He didn’t want to bring you to me, he just wanted his doomsday device back.”
“Doomsday device?” Myron shook his head. “This just gets stupider and stupider. Did you give him the doomsday device?”
“Of course not,” Gloria said. “I haven’t seem him in seven or eight years. And when I saw him last, that’s when he gave me the device.”
“You’re just telling me lies, aren’t you? How did he tell you all about me, like you’ve been claiming he did, if he didn’t come right here after he lost me?”
“Myron, you have to start thinking things through better. You could be in real danger if you act stupid like this. He phoned me, of course. He called me from the road. What year do you think this is?”
“Oh,” Myron said.
“Anyway, he’d know better than to bring that doxy around me.”
“Are you . . . Are you jealous of them?”
“Myron, come here.” Gloria pulled him over to a side street and began walking him along, at a fairly rapid clip considering the way she hobbled. She leaned in to whisper in his ear. “You have to understand this. There’s nothing to be jealous about. Arthur and Alice aren’t dating. Binturongs and lesser pandas don’t date. That would be bestiality—or double bestiality—or whatever it would be, animals don’t get turned on across species.”
“Oh.”
“Maybe that’s what you should do, to figure out what kind you are. Walk around the zoo until you feel something stirring.” She laughed and actually elbowed Myron in the ribs as they were walking, making him stagger several steps. “I told you to get smarter, Myron. You’re going to need it.” She suddenly stopped and, painfully bending over, began rummaging around in her sack, which she was still toting.
“Gloria, I don’t know what to do. A lion wants to kill me, and I can’t find my parents, and I’ve never been on a trip alone before.”
“Chin up, Myron. If you ever had parents, they