Raina tilted her head and moved on to her next victim: me.
“Kara.” Raina cleared her throat. “It’s great that you are working in your field, but don’t you want to pass that wine test?”
My cheeks heated from her direct question. “Of course I do, but it’s not that simple. I’ve tried three times.”
“Then try again. Didn’t you tell us a few months ago that you were practicing with Roddy?”
“Yeah, well, Roddy is pissed with me. He thinks I’m not living up to my potential.”
Raina bobbed her head. “I’m not picking on you, but girl, you used to run around like a My Little Pony on crack. If you weren’t working, you were zip-lining, BASE jumping, or climbing a pile of rocks. I know that things changed since—”
I squared up my shoulders, squinted my eyes, and scrunched up my face in a don’t-screw-with-me look.
Raina raised her hands in the air, a sign of surrender. “Sorry,” she whispered. “We’re here for you, girl, and you’ve been keeping things in.” Her voice was genuine and a touch worried. It was the tone she used for her raindrop callers who had legitimate issues.
I relaxed and sighed; I knew it was over-the-top. “You aren’t wrong. And it seems like this week is tell Kara how it is.” I recounted my conversations with Roddy and Darren.
Nikki leaned and gave me a side hug. She knew how it felt to lose a parent. Her dad had died when she was younger, and from the reverent way she talked about him, I knew they were extremely close.
“Look,” Raina leaned back into the sofa, “I know I’m coming off as aggressive, and you can go around and take turns on how I haven’t done anything with my life. But I realized something the other day: We’re living scared. We used to be fearless and confident.”
I found myself nodding. I’d been thinking the same thing, and I was tired of this new version of me. I wasn’t weak. I didn’t lose, and if I did, I came back swinging.
Nikki jumped up from her seat. “Well, fuck me, this is sad.” She waved her hands. “Why’d we have to go there? This is like . . . fuck, like a smack in the face.”
There were a lot of talented people in the world, but Nikki was magic. Her soulful, scratchy voice was the perfect mix of blues and rock-and-roll. She always claimed that black people owned it before and she planned to take it back. I wanted that for her. Looking up at Sienna’s and Raina’s sad eyes, I knew they wanted it for her just as badly as I did.
“Maybe we can do this.” Sienna spoke up. “I’m a lawyer, and sure, I’m not running for office, but my husband-to-be is. I can still accomplish my goals to make the world a better place, and I intend on doing it.” She pointed at Raina. “And who’s to say Raina won’t ever be a writer, or Kara won’t be a master sommelier, or you a singer? We’re in our early thirties. We’re still young.”
“Oh yeah, I’ll pack up my kids, tell my hubs to quit his job that supports us all, and take them on tour with me. That’ll be great.”
“Sit down and stop pacing the floor, Nikki.” For the first time during this conversation, Raina sounded unsure. “Take a seat. Let’s just . . . chill out.” She took a deep gulp of wine and leaned back, tapping the glass stem.
Everyone was quiet. Sienna sat still, her eyes unfocused on the television. Nikki patted a complicated beat on her thighs. I wasn’t the only one facing my demons today.
I looked around the living room, taking in my Wall of Winning decorated with plaques and trophies and ribbons. I’ve beaten the odds before—this test was difficult, but I could overcome it.
Maybe it was the wine, but Raina was starting to make sense. I’d been living in fear of my own shadow for the past few years. I needed to grow a pair and get back in the game.
I lifted my eyes to meet Raina’s. I grinned. Her eyes sparked with recognition. She knew I was in. Her smile was bright as the evening star.
I cleared my throat. “Let’s do it.”
“Yes!” Raina pumped her fist in the air. “Sienna?”
Sienna nodded. “Yes. I’ll . . . I’ll have to change my goals. I’m helping Keith right now, and I need to focus on him. But maybe