spoke. ‘Take a look at me, Michael. Take a really long, hard look. Because I’m not the person you think I am. I’m really not. I’m not this perfect image you had me down as; I’m not even that nice a person…’
‘India…’
‘No. Please, let me speak, Michael. I changed. When I came over to L.A. from England, that shy and quiet twenty-two-year-old, she disappeared real quick, believe me. All too fast she turned into this movie star creation that sometimes believed her own hype, that forgot who she was on more than one occasion. She turned into someone who hurt people around her without stopping to think twice about what effect that could have on the rest of their lives. And at times I really didn’t like myself. I didn’t like what I was doing, especially to Kenny. He didn’t deserve the things I put him through, nor did Reece. And, in reality, Dominic should also be giving me a wide berth because I’ll only end up hurting him too, in time. Like I end up hurting everyone, eventually. You see, I played the victim far too much when it was actually me who was dishing out the shit. I wasn’t always the one receiving it, even though that’s how I made it look sometimes. But I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the past few months, Michael. And things are going to be very different from now on. Very different.’
Michael frowned. ‘I don’t understand, India. None of what you’re saying…’
She sighed heavily, looking down at the bar. ‘When I get back to L.A. I’m going to spend some much-needed time alone. Well, not exactly alone, I’ll have the kids with me. But, alone in the sense that… that there’s no man around for me to hurt. No man around for me to use or fall back on or… Just, no man.’
Michael looked at her, watching the way she fiddled with her watch strap, a nervous habit she’d had for as long as he could remember. ‘And what does Dominic think about this?’
She looked up, her eyes meeting those of a man she’d once loved so much. Was that love still very much there? Had she just transferred it to his son, meaning that she felt just that little bit closer to a man she could never really forget?
‘He doesn’t know how I really feel,’ she said quietly, glancing quickly over at Dominic as he continued to give the still-very-much surprised group of interns attention they couldn’t even have dreamed of before now. ‘How could he? When I was never really sure how I felt myself. Until now.’
‘Is it over, then? Between you and him?’ Michael asked, quite enjoying the fact he wasn’t experiencing some ridiculous feeling of hope that she was declaring herself single. Leaving the way open for him. He didn’t feel that anymore. And it felt quite liberating.
India shrugged, resuming the fiddling of her watch strap. ‘I don’t know. I guess that all depends on how he feels about everything.’ She looked back up at Michael who, despite all those once-familiar feelings of obsession and hope having now deserted him, couldn’t take his eyes off this woman. This mixed-up, complicated woman. ‘I’m just not sure, y’know? Whether or not to move forward with… with whatever it is that we have.’ And now that she’d said those words out loud, she knew it was what she’d been thinking for a while now. And she knew why. So it was only fair to Dominic that she backed off from whatever relationship it was they had, before she hurt him even more.
‘Yeah,’ Michael sighed, pushing a hand through his hair again, turning away from her to look over towards his son. ‘I know exactly how you feel.’
‘Anyway,’ India said, her mood suddenly changing as she slid down off her stool, straightening her top. ‘I’m sure things will make a lot more sense once we’re all back in L.A., away from the crazy goings-on of the past few months. Things will probably seem a lot clearer back home.’
Michael smiled, a feeling of relief washing over him as he looked at her, all blond hair and blue eyes, a tiny hint of the young and naïve woman she’d been almost twenty years ago peeking through the Hollywood exterior she’d created over time. Relief that his life was no longer going to revolve around trying to make her love him again, but also relief that she wouldn’t be out of his life