to bother you when you both had a day off together. You mentioned going to the beach. Alone time with your husband, you know? No way I was going to interfere with that.”
Tess rolled her eyes. “My husband and I get plenty of alone time together. You, on the other hand, had your first alone time with your boyfriend. I stared at my phone all damn day waiting to hear from you.”
“You did not.”
“Okay, fine. Not the entire day. George and I hit the beach. We ate at a great restaurant. We went home and then we had wild monkey sex. After we showered the sand off, of course. And no, I wasn’t looking at my phone during any of those times. Does that make you happy?”
Carmen laughed. “Deliriously. You do have an amazing marriage, you know.”
Tess lifted her shoulders and offered up a giddy smile. “I do, don’t I? I’m damn lucky and I know it. Now tell me about your trip to Miami.”
Now that she’d made Tess wait for it, she supposed she should spill some details. Not all of them, of course. But some. “We had a great time.”
“And?”
“And, we had a great time.”
“Come on, Carmen.”
“Fine. We drove down, checked into an amazing hotel—the COMO Metropolitan. Very art deco. Supremely gorgeous. We had a suite with a living room and stunning views and the most amazing bathroom ever. It was totally decadent.”
Tess chewed and swallowed and grinned, all at the same time. “Awesome.”
“We went for walks, we went to the beach, we ate amazing food, we went dancing. Oh, and Rafe can dance. I mean he can really dance well. I danced until I couldn’t move my feet. It was exhausting and exhilarating.”
“Wow. It sounds like you had an incredible time, honey.”
“I did. We had fun together. And we talked—about so many things. From the inane to the really serious. It wasn’t just doing things, you know? I couldn’t have asked for a better vacation. I didn’t want to come home.”
“Aww. It sounds like you really connected with him.”
Did she? She supposed she did. But she didn’t want to think about that, not when their time together had been so good. “We had fun.”
“So you said. What about the emotional connection?”
“I don’t know, Tess. I’m trying not to do that.”
“Do what? Get involved? Care about someone? Fall in love?”
Fall in love. The words alone caused her heart to clench, and then sent shivers down her spine. “I don’t know.”
“Tell me what bothers you about it.”
She stared at her salad that lay untouched. She’d planned to eat, finish her review of reports and then walk out on the floor for the afternoon. Now she’d lost her appetite and her motivation.
“I had such a wonderful time with Rafe. He’s kind and considerate and fun and sexy, but you know, I was in love once, and love turned on me. I’m not sure I can ever trust it again.”
Tess wrinkled up the paper from her sandwich and stuffed it in the bag. “Okay, I totally understand where you’re coming from. But is it fair to lump all men—Rafe, especially—in with your ex-husband and what he did to you?”
“Of course not. But I can’t help how I feel.” She paused, letting that emotion wash over her. Real feelings surfaced, and they were the ones she wanted to avoid the most. “I’m scared, Tess.”
Tess gave her a nod of sympathy. “I know you are, honey. But denying yourself a chance to experience love again is only letting your ex win. Do you want him to keep screwing you over for the rest of your life? If you end up alone and lonely, then he wins. Again and again.”
She hadn’t thought of it like that, but what Tess said made a lot of sense. She’d cocooned herself after her divorce, wrapping herself up in her hurt and anger and misery, refusing to open herself up to the possibility of ever falling in love again because she might get hurt.
But what would happen if she did give love a chance? She might get hurt again? What would happen if she didn’t get hurt? She might end up happy. Which would be the biggest screw-you to her ex. And that would totally be worth it.
“You know what? You’re right. I haven’t been giving myself a chance. It’s time to end that. Things with Rafe might wind up going nowhere at all, but I should at least open myself up to the possibility.”
Tess nodded and stood.