history first. You know, those ones you get at the doctor’s. “Excuse me, sir, before you take off those boxers, would you mind telling me if anyone in your family has a history of heart disease? No? Fantastic! Now, when you’re ready, if you could just stick your willy in this tube for me.”’ She mimed twirling a test tube between her fingers.
‘Vulgar, Bea.’ Karen shook her head. ‘Speaking of which, how are things on the romance front?’
‘Bill!’ Bea shouted, turning in faux desperation to the waitress. ‘Can we get the bill, please?’
As the only singleton of the three of them, Bea was obliged to keep the others stocked up with graphic tales of her love life, her friends greedily feasting on her every word, reliving their dating days through her. What they didn’t know, would never know, was that it was all bravado, lies and posturing for their sake, so that they didn’t worry about her. Bea hadn’t been with anyone in years, and her few token dates had been to keep Karen off her back. They had never been given a real chance.
As they were waiting for the bemused waitress to bring the bill over, Karen turned to her.
‘Look, I know this guy from the work crowd. He’s single …’
Bea groaned theatrically. ‘Please, Karen, no more blind dates! I love you, but the blokes you’ve found for me in the past are … Well let’s just say I’ve not managed to find my Prince Charming amongst them.’
Karen smiled. ‘I know, Chris was a bit of a wet blanket, and Sean …’
‘Was an utter cockblanket,’ Bea finished for her. ‘Seriously, Karen, how these men made it as psychiatrists when they have so many Freudian frigging issues themselves, I do not know.’
‘This one’s not like that,’ Karen protested. ‘He’s not even a psychiatrist. He works in IT.’
‘Oh for fuck’s sake – like that’s better!’
Eleanor laughed. ‘Don’t be so fussy, Bea. At least if he’s rubbish in bed you might get your twenty-year-old laptop upgraded.’
‘Bitch.’ Bea grinned at Karen. ‘Fine, give him my number. He’d better not be another Sean, though.’
‘I promise. But it’s no wonder you can’t find a decent man, with language like yours. You could at least try and sound like a lady.’
‘False advertising.’ Bea pointed at Eleanor. ‘Isn’t that illegal, Els?’
The waitress arrived with the bill, and Karen handed over her card, as always. Bea shot a frustrated look at Eleanor, who shook her head almost imperceptibly. They had both tried to pay countless times, but in the end it was easier just to let her get the tab.
‘I’ve got to shoot off back to work,’ Karen said. ‘I have a patient this afternoon and I need to leave straight after the session. Michael’s away this weekend; I want to say goodbye before he goes.’
‘Somewhere nice?’
Karen pulled a face. ‘Doncaster, I think. Love you both.’
She took her card back from the waitress, and the others both hugged her goodbye.
‘I’d better go too.’ Eleanor pretended to glance at her watch, but Bea knew she was desperate to get back to her son. ‘Good luck with work, call me if you need to talk it through.’
Bea grimaced. ‘Thanks, hun, I will. Love to Tweedledum and Tweedledee.’
Eleanor grinned. ‘I’ll tell Toby and Noah their old fogey Auntie Bea said hi. They won’t have any idea who Tweedledum and Tweedledee are.’
‘What are they teaching kids in schools these days? Wink.’
‘You know one of these days you’ll actually learn to wink. And learn to be funny.’
‘All right, cow. Still okay to pop those passport forms round after the gym later?’
‘Not bedtime, Bea; you always turn up at bedtime and Tobes goes wild.’
‘Not bedtime, I promise.’
4
Karen
The tension around the table was palpable, but not because they were worried about what they were about to be told – bad news was never delivered in a team environment; that wasn’t the way things were done round here. Instead it was communicated behind closed doors, as quietly as possible: no fuss, no mess. No, the rest of the junior psychiatrists, six in all including Karen, were all looking anxious for the same reason her own leg was jiggling impatiently and she’d glanced at the door constantly since they’d been gathered in the large conference room.
It was Friday, and everyone had been hoping to slope off early to start their weekend. Michael was leaving tonight and she’d been desperate to get back and see him before he set off. She always treated weekends as though he might