I Know Your Secret - Ruth Heald Page 0,38

There’ll be no trace of me there now. My childhood ended when my father died.

I’m not far from Beth’s house, and I think about going over, checking she’s OK. I felt sorry for her last night. She was so vulnerable. But I decide against it – I’m sure she just needs to sleep it off. Besides, I have so much work to do, and I want to spend the whole afternoon going through the files for the appeal. The weekends are my only real opportunity to work on my charity clients, and it’s so important I get it right. My client was acting in self-defence and should never have been convicted. I’m determined to get him off on appeal.

But there’s one other thing I need to do first. I can’t put it off any longer. The small parade of shops at the end of the street still contains the same family-run pharmacy that was there when I was a child. I stand in front of the display for ages, picking up packet after packet to read the small print and check the statistics on accuracy. I don’t want there to be any mistakes. Finally, heart thumping, I choose the most expensive pregnancy test and take it to the till.

Twenty-Three

Beth

I’m just thinking about what to give Charlie for dinner when I hear the front door. For a moment, I consider not answering. I’ve been looking forward to a quiet evening ahead, and I don’t want anything to interfere with it. But then I remember the set of screwdrivers I’d ordered online to fix the cupboard door in the hallway. Perhaps it’s the delivery. I go to the door.

Richard.

I stare at him in confusion and then remember he’s here to look after Charlie while I see Danielle. But I’ve cancelled her session. I left a message on her phone explaining that I can’t be her therapist anymore. I crossed a line by getting drunk with her, and it would be unfair to continue to see her in a professional capacity. I hope she understands. I didn’t mention I could be investigated and perhaps even struck off for going to her house and having a drink with her. She didn’t ring me back like I asked, and it suddenly occurs to me that I might not have heard from her because something awful happened when Peter came back. I feel a shiver of guilt. I should have made more effort to contact her.

Richard nods as I explain I don’t have any clients tonight. ‘I can still stay,’ he says. ‘Help you with Charlie.’ He holds up a paper bag. ‘I bought takeaway from the deli for us to share.’ I think of the leftovers I was planning to eat for dinner.

‘Sounds great,’ I reply.

* * *

Once we’ve all had dinner and Richard’s put Charlie to bed, Richard and I sit down together in the living room.

‘So what happened with your client?’ he asks.

I’m about to make something up, but at the last moment I change my mind. Richard is a therapist himself and he understands me better than anyone else. ‘I tried to help her. She called me in tears. She was asking her husband to leave and she thought he was going to hurt her. So I went round to her house…’

Richard sighs. ‘You must have known that wasn’t a good idea. You’re her therapist, not her friend.’

‘She didn’t have anyone else. And she was scared.’

‘You were always so determined to do the right thing.’

‘I’ve been so stupid.’

He puts his hand on mine. ‘You did it because you cared.’

‘Do you think I should report it? Tell the governing body I made a mistake?’

He meets my eyes. ‘No, don’t do that. They might penalise you. You made a mistake, but at the end of the day you helped your client, didn’t you? Was she grateful you intervened?’

I nod. ‘She certainly seemed to be when I got there. Her husband didn’t come home in the end anyway, so she didn’t even need me.’

But I don’t remember the whole evening. I can’t bring myself to tell Richard that. He saw the bottle of vodka on Saturday morning, but he doesn’t know that was the day I saw Danielle.

Richard pats my hand patronisingly. ‘Well, it sounds like it worked out for the best then.’

‘Yeah, I suppose so. I’ve lost a client though.’ Just at the time when I need to earn more money.

‘How are you getting on with finding more work? The mortgage is due this