I Have Lived and I Have Loved - Willow Winters Page 0,71

and cue the shrieks and laughter again.

“Hey! What are you two doing?”

Robbie was breathless, panting as we heard Mom yelling from downstairs.

I chuckled and then yelled back, “Robbie won’t get out of my bed! Mom, come make him.”

His mouth dropped and he sat upright. “She’s tickling me, MOM! It isn’t true!”

We could hear her laugh, and I closed my eyes for a moment. This was what I had needed all summer long.

My mom was laughing.

Robbie was laughing.

I was smiling.

And Dad was coming home.

We’re going to be okay, Wills.

She didn’t answer, but I knew she wouldn’t, and I didn’t need her response. I already knew she was happy for us.

The tickling continued until Robbie yawned, and I started to feel bad that he was still awake. It was long past his bedtime. Hell, they came home after his bedtime. After a minute he curled up with my blanket. Without asking, I brought up one of his favorite books and began reading to him.

Five minutes later, he was sleeping soundly.

He had the entire blanket wrapped around him. I didn’t have it in me to wake him or carry him to his own bed.

Sneaking around my room, I checked my phone. There were a couple of texts from Ryan:

Ryan: How’s it going?

Thirty minutes later.

Ryan: Finished my homework. Want to talk for a bit?

An hour after that.

Ryan: I’m hoping everything’s good on your end. I’m heading for bed.

And ten minutes ago.

Ryan: I think I’m in love with you.

Ten seconds ago.

Ryan: Goodnight.

I almost dropped my phone, but with my heart pounding its way to my eardrums, I texted back.

Me: Goodnight. I think I—

“Robbie’s sleeping?”

I jumped. The phone flew in the air. Stifling a curse, I caught it, and my hand hit the send button.

Oh no!

Shit, shit, shit.

My mom stood in the doorway, frowning as she watched me.

“I—hold on.” I glanced over, but Robbie was still sleeping. I moved closer to the door. She moved back, and I followed her out. She closed the door with a soft click, and I checked my phone as she did.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

That text had gone through. I hadn’t answered, and—I couldn’t think.

“What’s wrong?” Mom looked from me to the phone.

“Nothing.” I held it behind my back. “I didn’t have the heart to take Robbie to his room, and I’ve missed him. A lot.”

She nodded, resting against the wall. Her arms crossed over her chest, and a tear slipped down her face. “We worried whether seeing you was good for him or not.” She gazed at my door. “I think we did more harm than anything. I’m sorry we kept you guys apart.”

They’d done this on purpose? I had wondered that, but to hear it confirmed . . .

“I thought he wanted to stay there?” I was gutted and reeling. How could they do that?

“He wanted to stay, but he wanted to see you too. I don’t think he wanted to come back here.”

It was a new house. Willow didn’t have a room there, but her things were still with us. My mom had hung her pictures on the walls. As if feeling her presence coming from them, we both looked over.

Willow smiled back at us from her junior-year school picture. She’d straightened and brightened her hair so it was almost platinum blonde. She had it pulled over one shoulder, her head tilted to the side as she flirted with the camera. A coy smile on her face, she looked on the verge of bursting out laughing.

“Oh, honey.” My mom reached out, wiping a tear from my face.

She was still crying, and I realized I couldn’t be angry with them. We all tried to cope in our own way, whether wrong or right, healthy or unhealthy.

“I’m going to go back in to sleep.”

She nodded, pressing a kiss to my forehead. She rested her cheek there. “Be safe and be smart. Okay, Mac?”

I nodded, looking up at her. “Don’t take him away again. I mean it, Mom.”

She pulled back. She started to nod, but then she did a double take. Mine was not an idle threat. She’d find out what would happen if she did.

I moved back into my room and texted Ryan back.

Me: I want to say things to you, but not till tomorrow. Let’s talk in the morning?

Then I checked to make sure my alarm was set, put my phone on silent, and grabbed a second blanket. Curling up next to my brother, I closed my eyes.

Ryan said he loved me . . .

Chapter Thirty-One

Ryan was waiting