I Have Lived and I Have Loved - Willow Winters Page 0,17

this was what I’d wanted since Ryan texted. I wanted to be around him. I could sleep.

I could feel normal, just for a while.

He took his glass and gestured to mine, the pizza in his other hand. “Let’s head downstairs. Feels weird going anywhere else.”

I followed him down to a large sectional couch that formed half a square. It looked like one large bed, and Ryan crawled onto it, scooting to the rear. He placed his glass on the back of the couch, which looked like it had been made for that purpose. I hesitated, but he patted the spot next to him, picking up the remote.

“I can grab us blankets and pillows too, in case.”

It felt so weird, but it also felt so right, and that made it even more jarring. For whatever reason, I was becoming addicted to this boy.

When I still hesitated, he lowered the remote. “What’s wrong?”

“This.”

“Us?”

I shrugged. Yes, but I felt stupid saying it. “I don’t know.”

He frowned and tilted his head to the side. “We’re hanging out.”

Okay. I nodded. I could do that. Hanging out. “You’re right.”

“That’s it.”

I nodded again. “Yeah.”

“So.” He looked at the spot next to him, and I climbed onto the couch, scooting to sit beside him.

After that, no words were needed.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk, but Ryan put on a movie and seemed content to eat his pizza, watch the show, and sip his drink. When mine was emptied, he went upstairs for refills, but the same thing happened. He returned to the couch, scooted back, and started the movie again.

It was my second movie of the night, but I couldn’t remember either of them. The only thing I remembered was relaxing. That was it. Willow, my family—they were all pushed to the back of my mind, and I felt everything start to unravel inside me.

I fell asleep during the movie, scooting down to lay next to Ryan. And at some point, I felt him get up, but he came back. He placed a blanket over me, and I curled into it, once again falling asleep.

When I woke, he was on his back beside me, one of his hands on my side.

He had fallen asleep like that, like he was protecting me.

Chapter Seven

“Mackenzie.”

I woke to Ryan saying my name and gently shaking my shoulder. “Wake up. We gotta go.”

“What’s wrong?” My eyelids were freaking heavy, but I sat up. A big ass yawn on my lips.

“Tom’s parents are home.”

“What?”

“We gotta go. Quick.” He scrambled off the couch, and I could hear footsteps above us.

“Was Tom here last night?” a woman’s voice asked. “I thought he was at Nick’s.”

More footsteps, and a man’s voice rumbled, a murmur through the ceiling.

I hurried after Ryan. He led me up some back stairs and then circled through the garage and to a side door. A door was open between the main floor and garage, and I heard the woman ask, “Was he drinking?”

The male voice grew louder. He was coming toward us. That was when I saw the car doors still open. They were unpacking.

“He had the pizza. The whiskey’s out, but I can’t tell if he drank any of it.”

“We’ll definitely have a talk with him,” the man replied.

He was right there, almost to the doorway.

Ryan slipped out the side door, and I pushed him the rest of the way. We clicked the door shut moments before we heard heavy footsteps from the garage.

Ryan shot me a look, letting out a deep breath. “That was close.”

“Too close.”

“I’ll call Tom. He’ll cover for us.”

“We’ll owe him one.”

“No.” Ryan shook his head. “I’ll owe him one.”

I didn’t agree with that, but he looked determined.

We moved out of the yard and headed up the driveway to my house. I couldn’t hear or see movement inside, but I knew my parents were probably having coffee. That was what they liked to do since Willow. Before, they would’ve been rushing through the kitchen, yelling at us. We all would’ve been rushing around, whether it was a weekend, weekday, or summer day. There were always activities to go to.

The quiet creeped me out.

“Are you going in?” Ryan asked.

I twisted around. I’d been standing on the front steps, staring at the door. I must’ve looked whacked out, like some space cadet who couldn’t sleep by herself, couldn’t handle being around her family, and couldn’t even bring myself to walk up to the porch.

“You’re too nice to me.”

“What?” Ryan stepped closer.

I saw that he had his phone in