I Have Lived and I Have Loved - Willow Winters Page 0,16

bully.”

He hesitated before letting loose a long sigh. “Guys don’t see that stuff. I’m not using that as an excuse, but we usually focus on the good stuff about chicks. Boobs, you know. Other stuff.” He gave me a half-grin. “I’ve heard rumors, and Peach told me a few things, but seeing how she was with you tonight—and how you handled it—that was eye opening.” He chuckled softly. “It’s the same with girls, you know. You don’t see the shit guys do to each other.”

“Is that supposed to make it better?”

He shrugged. “No. Just the way it is. And for what it’s worth, I feel like an asshole for not knowing how bad Erin is.”

A brief flicker of anger had sparked, but it fanned out, and I shrugged. “I think I was spoiling for a fight. I can’t take it out on my parents like a normal teenager. They’re in this thing called mourning.”

I bit back a grin, but Ryan saw it. His right dimple showed.

“Did you want to come in?” I gestured to my house. It was completely silent and dark.

The other dimple winked at me. “I was hoping. If you don’t want to go in right away, we could sneak into Tom’s house. His parents are in San Diego, and he’s staying at Nick’s tonight.”

I eyed Tom’s house. “He’s okay with you sneaking in there?”

“Yeah. We’ve done it before, use someone’s house if it’s empty, you know.”

I suddenly didn’t want to know any more. “You know how to get in there?”

He nodded, watching me. He was waiting.

The thought of going somewhere that was not my home had my mouth watering. And that place was empty. No parents. No Peach to stare at me weirdly. No crazy ex girlfriend. No little brother in the room where my sister wasn’t. No worrying if he’d hear me crying when I couldn’t sleep at night.

“Let’s go.” Decision made.

“Yeah?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Sounds good. We should go to the back. It’s easier not to set off the alarm there.”

Ryan led me to the backyard and pulled the hidden key from under a plant. Unlocking the door, he keyed in the code and returned the key a second later. I slipped inside, and he turned the system back on.

I rolled my eyes. “Tom’s parents must be geniuses.”

“Eh. They’re no Robbie Malcolm, but I’m sure they do okay.” He gestured to a picture where a couple stood with one of the older living former presidents. “They go golfing with that guy.”

And I was reminded that Portside was not Schilling, Arizona. Cripe’s sakes. They knew one of the presidents.

Yeah. So not Schilling, Arizona.

Ryan chuckled. “We aren’t any better. We use the fake frog, though the alarm system is the real backup.”

“Yeah.” I joked. “Remind me tomorrow to tell my parents to install infrared security system. I’m thinking we could use a handprint machine. Fuck the fake frog.”

He laughed, leading the way inside.

As we walked toward the kitchen, a different feeling settled over me. We were alone. I’d wanted to get away, but maybe I hadn’t thought this through.

I hadn’t been thinking anything through, not for a whole month.

Ryan nodded toward the kitchen. “You want a drink? I know where they keep the good stuff.”

My stomach rumbled.

He heard and flashed me a grin. “Or something to eat?”

“You know where they keep that stuff too?” I teased.

“I can make an educated guess.”

I ended up sitting on a stool by the island while Ryan scored leftover pizza. He popped the pieces into the microwave and pulled out two glasses.

I lifted an eyebrow. “You and Tom must be close.” He acted as if this were his house.

“Since second grade.” He ducked down to pull out a bottle of whiskey. “He won’t care. Trust me.”

“You bring girls to his house often?”

He laughed, pouring some lemonade to mix with it. He took a sip before pushing it my way. “No, but he brought a girl to my place once. More than once. My family was on vacation, and he asked, so since then, it’s a given. If one of us has an empty house, it’s an open invitation if we want to use it.”

“You’ve done that before?”

“I haven’t, no.” He looked at me, his eyes darkening.

Our gazes caught and held, and I felt a tickle at the bottom of my stomach. It was a good feeling, a thrilling one, and I held my breath for a moment because I didn’t want it to go away. The knot next to it relaxed, and maybe