I Have Lived and I Have Loved - Willow Winters Page 0,11

always no, but that was depressing. I didn’t want my conversations with Ryan to be sad. Everything else was steeped in sadness, but I didn’t want it to touch him. Not anything to do with him. We’d seen him and Peach once. They came to the hotel to go swimming, but that’d been it. Robbie and I had been holed up in the new-new house for weeks.

Ryan: Sweet. Pick you up in ten minutes.

Ten minutes? Wait.

Me: You know where I live?

Ryan: Yeah. My friend lives next door. Be there in ten.

For the first time in a month and one day, I hoped my parents would keep fighting. I sneaked back to my room and dressed. My light was off, but to be safe, I did the whole pillow-acting-like-a-human-body under my covers.

Slipping out, I didn’t need to worry about going to the back door. The fight was still fully engaged. My parents never saw me on the stairs, and I headed out the front door. I was waiting on the curb when a car pulled up in front of me.

“Hey!” Ryan rolled the passenger window down and gestured to the back seat.

Another guy was driving, bobbing his head up and down in rhythm with the bass blaring from the radio. He watched me where I stood, faint curiosity in his eyes.

“We gotta pick up one more. Then we’re good to go,” Ryan told me as I got in.

Once I’d settled, the driver started off, and Ryan twisted around. He pointed to the guy next to me, who held up a hand. “This is Tom Sanderson and Nick Lumoz.”

Nick was the driver, and he held up a hand but didn’t look back. “Yo.”

Tom nodded again, a friendly smile on his face. Both guys looked gangly. Each had their hair spiked like Ryan’s and wore Portside High School shirts.

“Is this the chick who—”

Ryan cut Tom off. “Yeah, so shut up.”

I caught the regret and sympathy that flashed in Tom’s eyes. They knew about my sister.

“Tom’s the guy Peach likes,” Ryan explained.

“Ah, man.” Tom groaned, slinking down in his seat. He’d been tapping his hands on his legs but moved to cross his arms. “It isn’t something that’s supposed to be acknowledged. It’s the thing no one talks about, you know? Why’d you have to say something?”

“Because it’s wrong. All sorts of wrong.”

Nick snorted. “You didn’t think that way when my sister liked you last year.”

Ryan turned sideways, facing the driver. “Because that was last year, and your sister’s hot.” His eyes flicked to mine, and he amended, “Not that I was interested in her.”

Tom snorted. “Right. Because that’s why.” He turned to me. “Nick’s parents split, and his sister went with her mom. He stayed with their dad because of basketball, and us.” He patted Nick’s seat. “Right? You couldn’t leave us. That’s why you didn’t go with your mom.”

Nick scowled in the rearview mirror. “Thanks for blasting my personal shit. No offense,” he added, looking at me.

Tom guffawed. “Whatever, man. And I said my thing because we know something personal about her. I felt it was fair.”

“Fine.” Nick leveled him with another look. “Then I’ll tell her how you’d really like to date Peach, but you don’t because of Ryan. You’re too worried about losing him as a friend. How’s that feel, buddy?”

“You do?” Ryan turned fully around.

Tom closed his eyes and heaved a deep sigh. “Oh God. This sucks.”

Ryan frowned. “You actually want to date my sister? Since when?”

“Since never now,” Tom grumbled under his breath.

“Since May,” Nick said. “Since Parker’s party where they kissed.”

“You kissed my sister?”

“Shut up, Nick! You made your point. I’ll never share another thing about you unless I have your written approval.”

“Good. Glad we’re clear.”

“Crystal,” Tom snapped.

Ryan sat back, waiting for the exchange to conclude and then turned to me. “My friends are idiots. They aren’t usually like this.”

“Yeah, we are,” Nick and Tom interjected at the same time.

Ryan nodded. “Okay. They are. But . . .” He raised his voice, giving both a meaningful look. “Maybe they can simmer down? At least for the night or until after the movie?”

I shook my head. “Please. Keep going. I’m enjoying this.”

Tom held up a hand, and Ryan narrowed his eyes. “Don’t think I’ll forget hearing about you and my sister. I know you talk on the phone, but kissing her is a whole other thing.”

“They kissed twice.”

“Shut up, Nick!” Tom yelled.

“Okay.” A satisfied smile stretched over Nick’s face. “Now I’m done.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

Nick lifted a shoulder