my dreams. My stomach growled. While Mrs. Quill’s energy wasn’t what I hungered for, it was what I needed if I had any hope of making it through tonight.
Yet, I couldn’t bring myself to feed and realized it wasn’t only her energy that was the problem. She wasn’t who I wanted.
Involuntarily, Fenris’s image popped into my head. I yearned for him as much as I rejected the possibility. His safety and happiness were the reasons I needed to go to the club tonight and the reasons behind my misery. I recalled his expression just before he left me in the woods, and my heart broke all over again.
But not all my memories of him were painful.
I remembered the way Fenris felt behind me that brief second before he tried to move me. To save me when I hadn’t wanted saving. Nothing had ever felt so deliciously right.
And I let my yearning for Fenris free for just a few moments.
Words tumbled softly from my lips.
“Picture his face. His eyes. His smile. Remember his touch. How he feels when he’s next to you.”
The scent of Mrs. Quill’s attraction and affection for Mr. Quill exploded in the air around us, snapping me out of the memory.
My hunger unfurled, bringing my vision along with my other senses into sharp focus. Mrs. Quill’s pulse leapt at what I was making her feel. What I’d made us both feel.
I hungered. And to my shame, it wasn’t for what was being offered freely. I hungered for Fenris. Willing or not.
With an inhale, I fed. I didn’t stop at three pulls. I took until my revulsion at myself was stronger than the clawing hunger. Until I was sure I wouldn’t be tempted by Fenris tonight.
Mrs. Quill smiled and gave my hand a gentle squeeze when I finished.
“I’m so proud of you, Eliana. That’s the most you’ve fed at one time. I think it might be more than you’ve fed collectively from me in months.”
“You would think that, after all these years, I would be getting used to feeding. Maybe even start to like it like a normal succubus. But I don’t. Each time, I hate myself just a little more.”
I released her hand.
“Feel free to tell Adira how I feel. She’ll make tonight interesting regardless, I’m sure.”
Hurt crossed Mrs. Quill’s expression before she caught me in a hug.
“Don’t hate yourself. You’ve done nothing to deserve that level of self-loathing.”
I snorted before I could stop myself. If only she knew I’d tried to banish my own mother and ended up making one of my friends disappear instead.
“We’re going to be late,” I said.
Mrs. Quill released me.
“Of course.”
Neither of us spoke as we made our way downstairs. Jenna watched us descend, a hint of worry in her gaze.
“Are you still up for going to the club?” she asked.
“Absolutely.”
She smiled in relief and took the hand that Mrs. Quill offered.
As soon as we touched her, I felt a tug in my stomach. As had happened when she’d portaled us to New York, there was no nausea or disorientation when we appeared at the top of the stairs at Club Blayz a moment later.
The dance floor was already filled with my peers, and music blasted from the stage. Behind the duel bars, three large men served drinks. Another man at the base of the stairs glanced back at us briefly, then went back to watching the dance floor.
“I thought portaling wasn’t allowed inside the club,” I said over the music.
“You are correct. But exceptions were made for Council members.”
“Ah.”
“Call me when you’re ready to go home.”
I nodded and started down the stairs. The regal walk, shifting slightly to the side so I could descend without tripping on my skirt, came naturally. Jenna moved with equal ease. The light hit the sequins of her dress like I’d hoped and her entrance definitely caught the attention of more than a few males.
My gaze swept the crowd, searching for Fenris.
“He’s not here,” Jenna whispered.
“You told Willow and Laurel that you were getting ready with me. He’ll be here.”
I spotted my mom near the back entrance.
“Go mingle. We’ll meet up later,” I said to Jenna before heading Mom’s way.
This was part of our plan. We make an entrance together, then I’d go find a quiet place to hide while she worked the room. I had no doubt that she’d find Fenris and kiss the sticks out of him.
Mom saw my approach and waved me forward before turning to face a surly group of mermaids.
“I want names,”