in their company these days for she knew well what looking into their sad little eyes would do to her. She’d almost broken down before, succumbed to hysterics, the weight of her responsibility crushing her until she’d felt she would not be able to rise again.
Until Caroline had realized that she was no help to anyone in this condition. No, she needed to keep a clear head, which meant she could not allow herself to get emotionally involved. She needed to be strong, tough, determined, and she could not be that person when her eyes brimmed with tears and her heart ached with sorrow.
Exhausted from a long day, Caroline settled into bed that night, willing her thoughts not to dwell on the children she’d seen that day, their little faces scrubbed clean, their eyes wide as they’d eagerly reached for the few toys she’d managed to acquire. Her heart only ached with all the losses they’d suffered, these torturous thoughts keeping her awake for a large part of the night.
No, she needed sleep. She needed a clear head. Perhaps she ought to call on Lady Woodward again the next day. Perhaps somehow, she could convince her that…that…
Caroline sighed as a soft throbbing began in her left temple. Her eyes closed, and she felt relief at the sudden sightlessness. Her fingers reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose where her spectacles sat during the day, their pressure a constant reminder that she was pretending to be someone she was not.
Do you truly need them to see?
The echo of the man’s voice was so unexpected that Caroline flinched. Her breath quickened, and she felt the pulse hammering in her neck as the moment on the terrace returned to her.
At least a fortnight had passed since then. But Caroline still remembered every moment of it. Why, she could not say. After all, Lord Markham had been most insufferable, living up to his dark reputation. Why people called him the Black Baron Caroline did not know. Was it merely his dark hair? Or rather that dangerous gleam in his brown eyes?
Caroline had heard it whispered that odd things happened at Markham Hall. Since the man rarely received visitors there, not much was known. Gossip abounded about his servants, many of whom were reported to have a missing limb. One even wore an eye patch, like a pirate. Of course, that particular rumor had led to others, suggesting the baron himself was a pirate or a smuggler or a highwayman. The list was endless. She’d also heard that he’d fathered countless children with his female servants, all of whom still lived at the estate.
Caroline swallowed. No wonder the man never invited anyone. Still, rumors were just that; rumors. And rumors could be wrong. Impressions could be wrong. She knew that better than anyone. With the exception of Sarah, no one knew who she was at heart. No one saw her the way she truly was.
Do you truly need them to see?
And yet, he had caught a glimpse, had he not? Lord Markham. Caroline shuddered at the memory of those piercing eyes, gazing down into hers as though he simply needed to look hard enough to unearth her secrets.
To learn your secrets. Was that not what he had said?
Had he truly noticed something about her? Something that had led him to the conclusion that she was keeping secrets? No less secrets that were of interest to him?
Over the past seven years, Caroline had worked hard to blend into the background, to not be seen. Every time a gentleman had glanced at her, his gaze settling for the barest of moments, noting nothing of interest before moving on, Caroline had congratulated herself. No one ever truly looked at her because there was simply nothing to look at. She’d made certain of that.
Then what had Lord Markham seen?
He’d commented on her spectacles. Twice. He’d wondered if she truly needed them to see. How could he possibly know that they hindered her eyesight rather than improved it? Had he observed her in a moment of clumsiness?
Whatever it had been, she needed to be more careful to avoid another slip-up. Her persona needed to be perfect, flawless so as not to rouse suspicions. Now that the Season was over, Lord Markham would no doubt find other entertainments and have forgotten about her upon the beginning of the next. Caroline could only hope so for those brown eyes sent a shiver down her spine.
He’d seen too much.
And he’d taken