by the door, almost like I’m afraid my fucking dorm room is haunted, but she gestures me over, patting the seat beside her.
“All right, girl, spill it,” she says as I walk over and sink onto the couch. “What the fuck is going on? What happened?”
In a few short sentences, I explain everything to her.
Just the facts, nothing else. I tell her about Gray and I discussing my art and him suggesting I transfer schools. Then I explain how a sudden flood of memories hit me, triggered by the stupid conversation. I’m proud of the way my voice stays steady and cool, but each word I speak feels like another small stab to my heart, another wave of fresh betrayal.
This is what you get for trusting people, Sophie.
This is what you get for letting them in.
Max’s face is dumbfounded when I finish my story. “What. The actual. Fuck?” She blinks, her hazel eyes narrowing. “I can’t believe he pulled that bullshit on you. I was just starting to think about forgiving him for being a cocksucker last semester.”
“Yeah.” I pick at a loose thread on the couch. “Guess this is what I get for trying to forgive and forget. What’s that saying? ‘When someone shows you who they are, believe them.’ Gray showed me who he is from the first second I got here, and I should’ve believed that, not the pretty words that came later.”
“I don’t even know what to say.” Max shakes her head. “I really don’t. I don’t fucking understand it.”
“It’s fine.” I shrug. I don’t understand it either. “You don’t have to say anything.”
“That asshole!” She jumps to her feet, pacing around my small living room. “I thought… after he seemed to care so much at the hospital, after he seemed like all he wanted to do was to take care of you…” Her lip curls in disgust. “What the fuck is wrong with him?”
I stay on the couch, my hands curling into fists as they rest on my thighs. Max’s fury is actually helping ease some of my own. It helps to share it with someone, to know that I’m not crazy for being pissed and hurt.
The shittiest part is, I almost wish I hadn’t gotten those memories back when I did. Fuck, I’ve spent every day since I woke up hoping I’d remember some part of what happened that night… but did it have to come back to me then? Did it have to be right after Gray gave me the most beautiful gift I’ve ever received, a gift that’s still around my neck and needs to be disposed of as soon as possible, before fucking me on the kitchen floor like he could never get enough?
Why did he have to make my heart whole before he smashed it into pieces?
“Shit, Sophie. I wish there was something I could say or do to fix things,” Max says, finally stopping in her tracks to face me. Her expression softens, sympathy shining in her eyes. “This is a whole new level of fucked up.”
“Thanks, Max.”
“And hey, if you need an alibi or help burying a body, I’ve got you covered.”
I grin in spite of myself. “Good to know.”
The conversation dies there, and I leave Max in the living room to think about everything as I go unpack my bag, pissed that everything fucking smells like Gray’s house too. I toss it all in the laundry basket, and when I feel the thin chain of the necklace against my neck, I yank it off. The chain breaks easily, and there’s a small part of me that breaks with it, knowing I just ruined something beautiful and fragile, no matter who it came from.
Curling my fingers around the small heart, I walk into the bathroom and open up the toilet lid, ready to throw it down into the sewage system where it belongs—but something makes me pause.
I can’t. I don’t want to.
Opening up my palm, I glance at that little heart again, wishing it meant something else. Wishing it wasn’t just a pacifying parting gift, something to help Gray soothe his guilt.
Fuck.
I drop the toilet lid down and stride back into my room, then shove the broken necklace deep into one of my dresser drawers where I can forget about it until I’m ready to get rid of it.
Max and I spend the rest of the day doing nothing. We get some food, watch a movie, then take my unpacked clothes down to the laundry room so I