he didn’t believe me for a minute, but the pity, the edge of anguish in his eyes when he saw the way I still looked at him, had him backing away from yet another confrontation. “Night, Elle.”
“Night.”
Under the scalding water in my shower, I rubbed until I turned pink, but I couldn’t wash off the betrayal turning my skin oily. Ben was Tess’s husband, her mate. It wasn’t her fault, or his, that fate or destiny or biology had wrenched my first love out of my grasp.
But I had to see him every single day now. Talk to him, laugh with him, support him. Co-parent his child with him. Without holding him or kissing him or…any of the other things we used to do.
I despised the tiny, horrible corner of my soul that was glad I didn’t have to see Tess and Ben being lovey-dovey anymore. I wished I could slice that rot from my heart. I didn’t want to be this petty when I had lost the least.
Just a fiancé, a future.
About to fall into bed without bothering to towel dry, I noticed a light flashing on my phone, and my heart gave a leap, wondering if the text I sent earlier had already been answered. Making my third or fourth bad decision of the night, I checked my messages.
>> Toilet’s clogged in the penthouse. Bring a plunger.
A sigh rustled through me, disappointment weighing me down. It was just work, not the potential answer to all my problems.
Stupid to think, after all this time, the solution would drop into my lap at the click of a safe dial.
I’m a maid, not a plumber.
>> Handyman has the flu, and toilets are your domain.
Ugh.
>> There are a dozen girls on the waitlist who would take your spot tonight if I asked, and they would offer the special benefits packages to their clients you declined when I hired you.
They would end up maimed or dead within five minutes of tangling with my clientele, and you know it. Don’t kid yourself. You need me. No one else is dumb enough to risk their life for what you pay.
And I wouldn’t either if the position didn’t grant me access I otherwise wouldn’t have to a certain sphere of influence without revealing my true name.
>> Put on your fishnets and get your tight little ass over there.
That was the closest he would get to admitting I was right. The money was good, the tips even better, but I earned every penny of my paycheck without taking off my clothes.
Fine. Be there within the hour.
This was not how I wanted to end my night, but duty called.
A quick check of my walk-in closet confirmed I had one uniform left on the rack before I endured the embarrassing weekly ritual of dropping off my dry cleaning to the raised eyebrows of whoever manned the counter.
After wiggling into a black thong, I sat on the built-in bench and pulled on fishnet stockings that smelled like detergent from where I handwashed them yesterday. A pair of ruffled bloomers got left around my knees while I stuffed my swollen feet back into the patent leather stilettos I had kicked off with a sigh not even an hour ago.
Wincing, I stood, allowing myself a moment to sink into the pain before tugging up my bloomers and pulling my uniform off the hook. The French maid costume frothed on the floor when I held it down to step in, and it whispered over my skin in a silken kiss as I punched my arms through the ridiculously poufy sleeves. No bra tonight. I had already taken that sucker off once, and I wasn’t putting it back on again.
The shower made slicking my wet platinum hair into a tight bun easy, at least. With that done, I swiped on the barest hint of makeup, pulled on the black trench coat I wore over this getup no matter the season, and got in the car.
Kiddie music filled the cabin of the SUV I shared with Ben, and I caught myself singing along to one of the reimagined pop songs. “Butter biscuits.”
Cursing was a no-no these days, so I had been forced to get creative. Ben wasn’t thrilled with my improvisation, but oh well. I wasn’t thrilled when I stepped on Legos, either.
Holding my stare in the rearview mirror, I said, “I am young, I am beautiful, I am worthy, I am…tired.”
Riley would beat me to death with her feather duster if she caught me