Hot Under His Collar - Andie J. Christopher Page 0,82
about to try to compete with God. She just had to keep telling herself that until the devil on her shoulder shut the fuck up.
That was all well and good until she laid eyes on him. He was smiling at something that Sister Cortona said, and her insides twisted at remembering what his smile had meant that one time for her. She should look away and focus on making sure that everything ran smoothly, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away.
She stood in the middle of one of the walkways that they’d created between the game tents for such a long time that several people bumped into her. She didn’t even do her usual thing of murmuring apologies. She sort of wondered why everyone wasn’t looking at him, until she remembered that she was the only one in love with him.
Oh God. He wasn’t just some guy she was hung up on. She was well and truly in love with him. And she’d just walked away.
The realization hit her so hard that she had to look away. Her hands itched for something to do. Anything that would take away the stabbing pain in her chest and the burning behind her eyes. Anything that would stop the tears that threatened from being noticed.
They needed to wait until she was alone.
That thought stopped her, too. She remembered the conversations with Pam about feeling her feelings so that they could dissipate. Instead of running off to fix something or make something into a problem so she could fix it—the funnel cake station was a little catawampus—she ducked behind the ring-toss tent and stood there with her eyes closed.
She let the feelings rioting through her be for a long moment. Immediately, the intensity lessened. Yeah, she’d messed up, but she could make it right. Patrick might be a frocked priest, but he still had choices. He was still an adult.
As soon as she’d left Patrick sitting in the last pew of St. Bart’s, she’d known that she’d made a huge mistake. Her best friend had told her as much when she’d recounted her and Patrick’s conversation the next day.
Hannah was right. Hannah was always right these days. Men left the priesthood all the time. They had from time immemorial. If he wanted to be with her, he could do that.
After the carnival was over, she was going to tell him how she felt and let the chips fall where they may. Instead of the dread and raw pain running through her body at the thought that she would have to live her life without him that she’d felt several emotions ago, she felt anticipation and the almost delicious fear that told her she was making the right/wrong choice.
That’s how Hannah found her. “What are you doing? Communing with the nature spirits?”
“Yes, I’m calling on the Great Mother to bring me some of that good dick.”
Her friend laughed, probably surprised to hear Sasha using crass and flippant language. “On sacred grounds, no less.”
“I’m a changed woman,” Sasha said, looking her friend in the eye, happy to see that she no longer seemed as though she was about to vomit. “How are you feeling?”
“Better.” Hannah put her hand on her still ever-growing belly bump. “I barely have enough to complain to Jack about so that he brings home the good ice cream in contrition anymore.”
“You’re glowing.”
“That’s moisturizer.” Hannah blushed, never able to just take a compliment. “Now, tell me about the D you’re trying to catch. Is it Nathan?” Hannah lengthened the syllables of Nathan’s name. She hadn’t told Hannah about him being married. “Or Patrick?” She lengthened the syllables of his name even more, indicating her strong preference for the latter.
“Shhh.” She might be ready to declare her feelings to Patrick, but she didn’t think his whole congregation needed to know that she was about to steal their man. “The second one.”
Hannah squeezed her fists in front of her face. “Yes!”
Jack walked up behind his wife and kissed her neck. “What are we celebrating?”
“Sasha’s going to tell Patrick how she really feels like a grown-up.” Hannah turned to him.
“Finally!” Jack, very dramatically, dropped to his knees as though he’d just scored a winning goal.
Sasha was shocked, though she shouldn’t have been. Hannah and Jack told each other everything, after all. She was a little surprised that Jack wasn’t upset that she was going to ruin his best friend’s life. But, as it turned out, it wasn’t a split decision in the Nolan-Mayfield household.