Hot Under His Collar - Andie J. Christopher Page 0,81
didn’t know how to broach the subject with his father, but he knew it was past time to avoid it. “Do you think we made her happy?”
Patrick’s father looked at him as though he’d grown three heads all of the sudden. “Of course you made her happy. She was the happiest woman I ever knew. You should have heard her talk about you to her friends when they were playing cards.”
“I always knew she loved me, but I always felt like maybe she wanted more. Like to have a job or that maybe she had a calling herself.”
Danny chuckled. “She would have made a great priest, but she always said it was a good thing that the Church didn’t allow women to become full-fledged members of the clergy.”
These were more words than his father usually said in a whole week, so he didn’t want to slow him down, but he needed more. “Why was that?”
“Well, she wouldn’t have had you.”
“Or Chris.”
His father snorted. “Chris she could have taken or left. He was always a bit of a shit.”
“But you are so much more proud of him than you are of me.” Patrick knew that he had likely been their mother’s favorite, but their father had always paid more attention to Chris.
“You’re wrong there.” The green eyes that Patrick shared with his father glinted, and the old man put one hand on Patrick’s shoulder. He wasn’t sure who that hand was meant to steady—perhaps it was both of them. “I am proud of the man you’ve become.”
“But not that I’m a priest.” When his father sighed heavily, Patrick pressed on. “I know that you had little use for religion either now or when I was growing up, but I just felt like it was the only thing I could do after Mom died.”
Patrick left out the part about Ashley, because his father wouldn’t get that. And it seemed silly now that he had these much bigger feelings for Sasha.
“Mostly, I just think that you’re too selfless. You’ve given yourself away to people who barely notice or acknowledge you.” His father shook his head and patted Patrick on the chest. “Your heart’s too big to keep it for yourself.”
“That was deeply poetic for a man of few words.”
“How do you think I charmed your mother?” Danny ran a hand over his silver beard. “It certainly wasn’t this ugly mug. You can thank God you got your good looks from her.”
“You wrote her poems?” He’d come here wishing that he’d known his mother better as a person, and maybe it was time to get to know his father better as well. “Can I read them?”
His father’s face reddened. “Only some of them. Not the filthy ones.”
Patrick laughed. “I don’t need to read those.”
“You tempted to write poems for that girl you brought to the bar?”
Patrick thought for a moment. Sasha didn’t entice him to write poetry because she was poetry. The feelings he had for her were a song. The way his heart beat when she kissed him was a prayer. And the way he ached for her now that she’d rejected him was an answer. And, until that moment, when his father had revealed just a glimpse into his life, he’d thought he had to accept that answer. He’d come here to mourn Sasha, because it had felt right to do that sitting on bones.
But maybe the answer was to chase the poem down and try to change the answer to his prayers.
He didn’t have words for his father just then, but he nodded.
“Thank goodness.” Danny pulled Patrick in by the back of his neck for a hug. “If I was going to have to rely on your brother for grandchildren, I’d be in real trouble.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
SASHA WAS DETERMINED TO avoid any close contact with Patrick at the carnival. And she was determined to make it a success, because she didn’t want to have to come back to church grounds after this. Tonight wasn’t breaking her new rule of not going inside the church because everything was outside.
Luckily, they were selling plenty of drink, game, and ride tickets, and they should meet their goal of saving the pre-K program tonight. She felt a pang when she realized that she wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to Jemma or the kids. But it was too dangerous to be close to Patrick. She might well want him, but he was needed here. In the long run, she wouldn’t be enough for him. She wasn’t