I just want to go back to Chicago and find a way to forget about him.
15
Reed
If I were completely honest with myself, I felt terrible yesterday when we were leaving Matthew and Sally’s house. I hated myself for doing what I was about to do. Just pack up and leave after the weekend of affection and hospitality they had given me. A part of me was torn between staying in touch with them, inviting them to my home in Chicago next weekend, making solid plans for the summer. Then there was that other part of me that said, just go. Get the hell out of here.
“I don’t get it, man, all you have to do is talk to them a few times over the phone. Get them over here some long weekend. You said you really like them.” Jay and I are out by the pool at the back of my house. We’ve been sitting here with our whiskey iced teas for a while now. He didn’t know I was away for the weekend.
Now I’ve caught him up on everything. His reaction has been…more forgiving than I thought it would be.
“I spent most of my life trying to minimize my need to rely on other people. That’s what you do when you grow up in the system. You learn to make it on your own. Deal with your own shit yourself.”
Jay clenches his jaw and takes a long drag of his drink through the straw. I know I’ve mixed too much Scotch in these babies, but it’s what is keeping me going. I think I’ve been consistently drunk since I got back from Bridgeville yesterday.
“But your life has changed now. You are not the same person anymore, and they are your family,” Jay insists. I look at him, and he pushes his sunglasses down his nose to glare back at me.
“I don’t need anybody else.”
“Yeah, I hear you.”
“I like the way my life looks right now, and I want it to stay that way. We have all done just fine without each other for the past forty-five years.”
Jay sighs and pushes himself back in the deckchair.
“And what about your mom? You think you’ve done just fine without her too?”
I’m trying not to dwell on it. The fact that she may be out there somewhere. Maybe she’s in Chicago? Maybe she’s always been here.
“Yeah, I have. I’ve managed, and I’ll keep at it,” I groan.
“And the girl? Ella? The pretty young thing you’ve dragged into this whole mess?”
Jay, the bastard, is too righteous for a billionaire playboy. I’ve always known this about him. He is a guy who doesn’t stray from his moralistic beliefs.
“This was her job. I didn’t get her tangled up in anything she couldn’t handle.”
“Her job? I’m pretty sure she wasn’t expecting to spend a weekend with your family, pretending to be your wife. Sleeping in your bedroom. Did you guys…?” I’m not going to let him finish that sentence.
“She is doing fine,” I growl and gulp down the rest of my drink. Actually, the fact is I have no idea how Ella is doing. I haven’t seen or heard from her since I dropped her off at her apartment building yesterday. I don’t know if I’ll even see her again.
Technically, I said her job was over. That I don’t need her anymore. My plan is to get Tom to send a check to the college with an additional payment for a job well done.
“So, you’re not going to keep seeing her?” Jay asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“I don’t think so.”
“You didn’t have to pretend to have a wife. You could have just gone over there, solo. You took her with you because you wanted her there.”
I’m glaring at him again. He’s trying to read me. Sitting up straight.
“You like having her around,” he insists.
“What are you trying to say, man?”
“That you enjoyed the weekend with her. With your family. In that town, getting to know the people and places your father grew up in.”
I am speechless. I don’t want to say anything because I don’t want to admit that he is right. I did enjoy myself there. I did feel a connection. Most of all, with Ella.
Having her in my bed, sleeping tangled up in her, was the kind of thing I didn’t think I would ever experience with a woman. She made everything worth it—the lies too.
“What is your point?” I growl at Jay again.
“My point is you are willingly throwing away the things