it.
“Or go fishing, then make a fire and curl up against one another and stare into the flames,” Addy said. “That’s what the glassblowing gave me. You always sensed when I needed that.”
“You always trusted me to protect you, make sure no one found us out in that shed.”
She’d trusted him because she’d been starved for normalcy. Friendship. An ally in hell. He’d always been there, at her side. Watching. Protecting. Defending.
And she’d been at his. Whenever the girls and boys were put together for hand-to-hand combat skirmishes he’d always pick her to fight with him even though most everyone else chose a male partner. Not many girls resided at the camp, especially as young as she’d been.
“Whatever we did, we always found that peace. Together.”
“Our calm,” Kristof said. “I never found that with anyone else.”
“Nor did I.” Addy peered into his turbulent eyes. “We don’t know what’s down the road. We’ve both got things to sort and resolve, but I…”
“You want the peace.”
“We both need the peace right now.” She took his hand. “Trust me to give that to you now.”
“Addy, you deserve more than I can give you.”
“You don’t know that. You’ve lived for nothing but revenge since that camp. I’ve been there. After Peter died, I was lost. In many ways I still am. I stumble from mission to mission and stay focused on keeping those I care about safe. It’s kept me grounded even though I sometimes feel like I’m drowning.”
“They wouldn’t ever let you drown. Have you told anyone how you feel?”
Addy shook her head. “They have enough going on and I’ve adapted. I always do.”
“We never had a choice. Adapt or die.”
“I’m tired of adapting. Aren’t you? Aren’t you sick of living day to day for a mission or an objective?”
“Yeah.” He sighed. “I never expected to be here. At the end.”
“But you are. We both are. Peter’s gone. Your dad’s gone. It’s just us. We’re out and we won.” Addy kissed his throat. “Take me back to that peace. The world can wait for a few more hours.”
Kristof growled and lifted her. Hands on her ass, he hoisted her up until she wrapped her legs around his waist. Pleasure ignited within her as their mouths collided. The carnal tongue duel quickened her pulse and warmed her insides.
He carried her down the hall to the next room and opened the door. She gasped and ground herself against him as he kicked the door shut before carrying her deeper into the room.
A laugh escaped her when he tossed her onto the bed. Her breath froze when their gazes locked. Need darkened his gaze as he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside.
“Thought about that night many times,” he said. “You naked on my bed. Begging for me to take you.”
“Kristof.” She breathed his name as he undid his pants. He approached the bed and took her face in his hands. “This is the Addy I wanted that night.”
She clasped his waist and kissed a trail along his hard abs. She paused at each wound, each scar, and caressed the marred flesh. Each one was a reminder, a remnant of what he’d endured to become the man she craved.
She grasped the waistband and pulled the pants down as she kissed farther down. A low rumble rolled from him. Anticipation quickened her pulse.
Sex hadn’t ever been anything more than a functionary act—a tool in her arsenal used when necessary. Wariness slowed her movements and her mind stilled. She’d always gone about the act the same way—steps taken to derive the needed results.
But this was Kristof.
He didn’t want Addy the operative.
He wanted her. The real her.
“Addy.” Kristof tugged her hair until she peered up at him. His gaze softened. “Breathe for me.”
Lost within the intensity in his eyes, she breathed deep, then out. In. Out. He caressed along her upper cheek and smiled. “There she is.”
There she is. Addy held her breath. The wariness consumed her. What now? As crazy as it seemed, none of what she’d learned was in her brain. None of the seductress she’d always been remained.
“Talk to me,” he said. “Your eyes are wide.”
“I-I’m okay.” But she wasn’t. She so, so wasn’t. Her heart thudded at a thousand miles an hour and her stomach felt like a hundred flying dinosaurs were soaring.
She felt as though she’d been ripped open.
Exposed.
And they hadn’t even done anything yet.
“I-I can’t.” She shook her head and pulled away from his touch, but he clasped the back