Hostile Ground (The Arsenal #7) - Cara Carnes Page 0,69

awake, in the same position she’d been in when she’d fallen asleep.

With Kristof at her back.

“You’re awake.” The weight around her waist shifted. Awareness arced through her as Kristof splayed his hand on her stomach, directly against her skin. The material bunched at his fingertips. “Good morning.”

Evidence of exactly how awake he was pressed along her butt and lower back. She stifled a groan and shifted within his embrace. Tingles burst along her head where he finger-combed her unruly hair.

What the hell had she gotten herself into?

A bed with Kristof.

The rightness of waking in his arms was a balm. Decades long pain and loneliness evaporated when she was with him. Protected. Cared for.

She swallowed. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Saying good morning and waiting for a response.” The rumbled words along the shell of her ear cast a shiver throughout her body. Talk about a complication she couldn’t handle.

She wasn’t a talker, never had been.

This…

What the hell was this?

They hadn’t had sex, though she sorely wished they had. Maybe then the awkward moment she was currently in wouldn’t have happened. She never let a man hang around after a romp.

But sex with Kristof wouldn’t be a simple romp.

“Talk to me. This doesn’t have to be weird. We’re both adults,” he said. “Nothing happened.”

She’d often wondered what Kristof would be like in bed. Raw, unrestrained power focused on her needs. His desires. None of her contemplations had included a chatty, cuddling man whispering in her ear and…damn. He wasn’t the snarling, oblivious guy in the morning—the one who’d roll out of bed, scratch his ass, and go about his business like nothing happened.

Nothing did happen, you idiot.

No. They hadn’t had sex, but they’d turned a corner onto an undefined path—one that left her wondering whether she should turn around and retreat or bravely forge onward in the unknown.

“I’m done hiding,” he whispered. “I’m an open book for you. Remember I told you I was waging a war for you and me? Well, this is the next phase of that war. Honesty. Communication. I’m not walking away even though I should. You’d be better off without me in your life, but I can’t do that. Not until I know what this thing is between us.”

Damn. It was worse than she imagined. He was a chatty, cuddly teddy bear in the mornings. Anticipation beaded along her stomach where he traced circles on her skin. She needed to get her head on straight and walk away from this before it got more complicated.

For both their sakes.

“They want me off this mission,” she whispered.

“I know. I want you where you’re safe. I don’t want that bastard anywhere near you.” He drew her closer. “But I can’t stand the thought of never seeing you again. If you leave now, I know you won’t ever be back. You’ll walk away for good.”

She would. It’s what she did. It’s the only thing she knew how to do.

Move forward and never look back.

“We can’t afford a distraction right now,” she said.

“Is that what I am to you? A distraction?”

“What else would you be?”

He grabbed her hand, threading his fingers through hers. “I have no idea. That’s why I’m not letting you go until I know.”

“That’s not your choice.” Addy didn’t give herself time to contemplate the emotions surging within her. She needed an exfil from whatever the hell this was. She shoved away from him and stood. Glaring down at the bed, she froze.

He was gorgeous. Sinewy flesh. Warmth. Comfort. Intensity.

No. She couldn’t do this. Not now. Not ever.

“What the hell do you think’s going to happen?” She shook her head and turned. “Did you seriously think that you manning the fuck up and finally telling me what I should’ve known years ago was going to magically make me spread my legs for you?”

“Don’t go there.” He stood. Pain rushed across his face a moment as he rolled his shoulders.

She took a step toward him, momentarily focused on her worry for him rather than the fear clawing her insides. But she forced herself to remain still as he came around the bed.

“I know you’re scared.” He grasped her waist.

She kept her gaze cast to the floor, but he strengthened his grip until she peered up into his eyes.

“Don’t run from this. You’re stronger than that. We both are. I’m fucking terrified. I’ve closed myself off from everything for years. The thought of taking a chance and…”

“And what?” Her voice rose. “This isn’t a fucking romance movie. We don’t live