Holt's Holding (Part One) - By A Dagmara Page 0,42

what he wanted and needed. His thrusts increased and the tension running thru him was invading me.

Oh lord…I came and hard. My body clamped down so hard, I didn’t think it was possible.

He fully tensed, and pulled from me, spilling on my back.

With his full release, my body fell limp to the bed. My hips felt like they were dislocated.

I couldn’t move. The bed shifted as he wiped his orgasm off my back then unlocked the cuffs.

Burying my head into the pillow, I didn’t have the strength to move let alone talk. I felt him shift off the bed.

Fuck, I was sore and fully unhinged.

Shaking my head…I didn’t understand, how I got here…how I was in his bed, let alone, what just happened. My mind turned back to last night, and the anxiety followed…visions of blood…Brady…oh shit. My breathing increased. I felt like I was suffocating. Unable to move, I was panicking, my heart racing erratically…Sebastian lifted me up off the bed and into his arms. I couldn’t breathe…Sam!…I rasped, and the tears burned in my eyes.

“Breathe Lillian!” He commanded “Breathe!”

I shook, and my body trembled.

“Sam’s ok…she pulled through…now breathe Lillian!” His voice was controlled yet demanding.

I felt him carry me up into his arms. Before I knew it, I felt the warmth of the water cascade all around me. Finally, I sucked in a deep breath my lungs burned.

“That a girl…slow deep breathes.”

Slowly, he allowed my feet to touch the floor of the shower, but still held me to him. Tenderly he kissed my head running his hands thru my hair.

“She’s fine…the bullet went through her side…she’s ok, and the doctors assured me that there was no damage to her Lillian. Your friend has been at her side all night and day.”

“Day?” I looked up into his eyes through a blurred vision of mine. The tears burned in my eyes, threatening to take control of me.

“Yes Lillian…its 5 in the evening…you slept all day. I was afraid to leave you, so I stayed with you in bed, making sure you were ok.”

“All day?” the question was more for me then him.

“I sensed you just needed sleep, as you were talking the entire time.”

Oh, shit…that’s right, I talk in my sleep.

“Lillian?”

“Yes?” I looked up to him.

“What happened to you?” His expression was of concern and his eyes held a tenderness that I wasn’t expecting.

“I don’t understand your question?” I whispered.

“You have all the signs of PTDS…” he paused looking down to me. “Who’s Ally?”

This line of questioning was too personal, and not something, I wanted to discuss with him. The defensive need to find all control came at me like a ton of bricks. How did I let my guards down? Reprising myself discipline, I reigned in my famous control. Walls, erected once more.

“Nothing happened to me Sebastian.” My voice, stern and cold.

“Lillian, please talk to me?”

“I don’t know you Sebastian, and this is not your concern; what did or did not happen to me, is not any of your business, nor do I wish to discuss it with someone I don’t plan on seeing again.”

He slighted his head to the side and his eyes looked tenderly down at me.

The look on his face looked disappointed, but almost understanding. Nope, not going there, the walls flew up again. Damn, I had to battle myself to keep them up. I didn’t know him and the idea of discussing my demons with him was not an option.

“Sebastian, honestly, I was just another conquest for you, I highly doubt that there would be much more to this.” I offered coolly and stern moving my body out from his hold.

Looking down to the floor of the shower, I knew he understood my words…even more I understood them.

I was indeed a conquest and nothing more. I backed up and turned from him.

“Lillian don’t go”, he sighed. A moment of hesitation, I paused to the plea. No, can’t do this. He’s going to hurt me. I know his type and I know his motives, regardless of what his eyes say, he is cold and calculating. This is a game to him, one that I entered into. A game I’m not willing to lose myself to.

“I don’t want to play this game…I’m tired Sebastian and see no need in it!” I gritted out in anger.

I stepped from the shower and grabbed the towel. Not bothering to turn, I knew he followed me out.

“You’re not a conquest Lillian…you are more,” he offered.

“More…ugh” I smirked, who the fuck did