Holt's Holding (Part One) - By A Dagmara Page 0,43
he think he was toying with? I’m not some dumb ho. I know all too well the type of game he was playing and I wasn’t about to let one brick of my wall crumble. “But aren’t we all just another conquest to validate control…was that not what you had done earlier, and last night…exert your control over me?” I laughed and walked from the enormous bathroom.
Looking around the room, I didn’t know where my clothes were.
I turned back to him and his eyes were so somber, as if the words registered. He looked to me with recognition. A recognition that almost froze me. Oh shit, he looked at me with a strange recognition, this wasn’t good. He bit his bottom lip, looking to me in a way I could only describe as acknowledgment.
He walked towards me, and swiftly positioned his hand at the nape of my neck forcing me to his stare. I knew I was in trouble. Fuck, over my head completely with this one.
He leaned down cautiously, and paused…I knew he was about to kiss me, and I turned my head and his lips landed on my cheek.
Feeling his breath on me, he whispered, “Who broke you? Who hurt you that you’re this guarded?”
Releasing a sigh, I shocked myself. “A man like yourself…but he didn’t break me Sebastian…That’s where you’re mistaken!” Visions of Lucian circled my mind again. Fuck, this was the second time with in the past day and a half that he surfaced in my head. My demon, my past. I need to free myself and quickly.
He moved and looked cautiously down at me.
“He will never break me Sebastian…No man ever will. You can take what you want of me and from me but you will never have me…that is was he taught me.” Lucian was the hardest lesson in life that I was taught. Looking to Sebastian, he partly reminded me of my demon, my Lucian.
“What does that leave you with Lillian? What about love? Do you want that in your life? Will you keep yourself that guarded?” Yeah, absolutely! If he only knew the truth. Love was a weakness that I was not about to let take me. I had plans and love was not part of it. Not with Sebastian Vaihn or any man!
“I had love, enough to hold on too for an eternity…”
Ally suddenly appeared in my mind…she was my heart and I would not fail her or me.
“I feel for you Lillian…the best part of life is Love!” Sorrow and pity laced his expression. Two things I don’t ever wallow in. Hell no. I made choice, and with those choices came responsibility.
“Don’t” I offered in a clipped tone. “…I certainly don’t feel sorry for myself…I like who I am Sebastian, most can’t honestly say that, and I doubt you could truly say it!” I glared at him seeing the man whom stood before me. The façade wasn’t lost on me. I knew who Sebastian Vaihn was and I wasn’t about to let him break my resolve.
“Perhaps you are right, but Lillian, at least I allow myself to feel. You on the other hand, do not. That is why you won’t allow a man to kiss you…you fear it.” He paused pulling me to him. “You fear it because it may cause you to finally feel something”
He leaned down, holding his lips so close to mine. I had to fight to keep my nerves in check.
“I won’t kiss you Lillian…but I’m right”
He moved away from me and let me go.
“There’s a change of clothes on the chair for you. I guessed on the sizes hopefully they fit.” His voice was clipped and angry.
“Thank you for the clothes.” I reigned in my frustration from this standoff. That’s exactly what it was, a standoff.
He walked back to the bathroom, and I finally felt control over my body. Walking to the chair, I pulled out the jeans white blouse, and flip-flops. Hmm, no bra or under wear…I guess it didn’t matter.
I dressed quickly, as he reentered the room. He went for the closet, and I knew he too would be dressing. I left the room, and entered the suite. This was the penthouse at the Hyatt in down town. The view gave it away. Sitting high above the harbor.
I walked to the window and stared out to the evening sun now setting.
Sebastian’s arms swiftly came around me, as he leaned into me kissing my head. His arms around me teased the need, the longing