Holt's Holding (Part One) - By A Dagmara Page 0,33

labored and strained voice.

“If I didn’t know any better, you just marked your territory Charlie.” I breathed, closing my eyes. Fuck, he did more than mark me. I felt branded. Shit, I was in big trouble.

“Precisely!”

“Charlie…I will never belong to anyone. I am not property and if you keep this up then we won’t be doing this much longer.” The need to fight for control, to fight for my freedom suddenly formed.

“Lillian you are …” He breathed in deep, lifting his head from mine, I sense his body tense and the sorrow suddenly filled his body language. “You’re right. I’m not the commitment type. I will fuck another, regardless of how much I want you. I’m a fucked up man who’s caught up with a past that will forever bind me.”

I let out a breath as he pulled from me and lowered my legs to the ground. For some reason I felt disappointed. Now, I was the hypocrite. For his words mimicked my own thoughts. He and I were mirror images of the other. This meant we would both hurt the other in the end.

“You and are a lot alike Lillian, the truth is I’ll hurt you in the end, for I could never give you what I’ve lost.”

What he lost? Trying to understand I realized he was right we were a like. The past, funny how he’s trapped in his, as I am in mine.

With that now understood. I knew this would be the last time he and I would have sex.

OFF Limits circled my head with alarm bells going off.

My expression lowered to the side, staring at the floor below as he stepped away from me. He kissed me on my forehead and I didn’t even flinch. I was familiar with this act. Chris always kissed me on my forehead. He did it knowingly that there was nothing more to be had between us. I shook my head and shut whatever emotions were trying to surface.

His hand was under my chin and forced my face to his. Looking at him his eyes gave it away. He knew.

“You remind me so much of her. It’s something in your eyes, the way you look at me. I’m sorry Lillian.”

Backing away from me, he released his hand and looked to the ground.

He shook his head and fixed my dress. Walking around him, I reached for my clutch, then to my room grabbing another pair of panties, and put them on. Returning to the kitchen, he stood with his hands firm on the counter staring out thru the living room and to the windows.

Saying nothing, I walked by him and for the door.

“Good night Lillian” he offered in cool tone

Pausing at the door, I could not afford myself a look back to him. So in a somber tone if Offered…“Good night Charlie.”

I walked thru the door and closed it behind me.

Standing in the hall, I didn’t know why I felt like I was so close to breaking. Thinking of his words, Charlie Vaihn had been in love once. Someone from his past held his heart. I understood that well. In my case, I was too young when it happened for ever tainting me. I still held on to the visions of that man.

Chapter 6

The cab ride longer than normal; my mind still in the apartment caught up with what happened with Charlie.

What he had implied had me lost and confused. Did I want more than just “Fucking”? He almost asked it before completely doing a 180. The very notion that I was revealing in this type of thought was very new and terrifying for me. I reminded him of someone in his past. Someone, whom clearly still had a part of him. He said he couldn’t give me what he lost.

Lost is the best way to describe how I felt. I barely knew him however; I was very well versed in his type. He and I were bond to our past. I was very trapped in mine, the past that made me who I was. My head felt like it was spinning. Memories that I held hidden in the recess of my mind tried to surface. One man whom taught me a lesson of a life time surfaced. Lucian. The cold chill of his name alone, had me shivering in fear. Not going there. Shutting it down, I moved down the hall.

He was so much like me that in the end if we went down this road one of us would fall