Hollow (Heaven Hill Generations #4) - Laramie Briscoe Page 0,44
eyes turn to her, my heart hurts. “Like you don’t have your own hang ups? My dad’s in jail, and I just didn’t have a good childhood. My brother and I were mostly raised by an uncle, I didn’t have shit until I was old enough to prospect for Heaven Hill, and even then it wasn’t what she was used to.” I shrug.
“I never asked you for anything, Dalton. All I ever wanted was you to love me. When I was pregnant with Walker, you’re the one who left – remember that?”
“To protect you!”
“Why do you think I asked you to leave this time?” she screams. “I knew it was bad, I knew I was spiraling, and I didn’t want you to see it.” She starts crying, almost silently.
“I tried to get Walker to come with me so he wouldn’t have to see it, but he didn’t want to leave you.”
“He’s the only thing that kept me alive, D.”
“That’s what hurts the most.” I reach out my hand to her. “That I can’t keep you alive. You don’t think of me in that way.”
Dr. Crawford leans forward. “Mandy, I don’t think that’s what you mean. Explain it to him so he understands. The two of you don’t communicate well; you hide things to save the other person, and that’s going to be the end of your marriage if you can’t get it together. I truly don’t think either of you want that.”
We both shake our heads.
“It’s not that you can’t keep me alive, it’s that I worry when I have issues like this, I bring you down. I bring you to the place you were in as a kid, and I don’t want that. I don’t want to be another thing in a long line of things you’ve had to take care of.” Her voice is soft, her tone choked. “Not when I should be taking care of you.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. We should be taking care of each other, and we have to start now.”
“Exactly.” Dr. Crawford grins at us. “It won’t be easy, because these are things you’ll have to work on. Instead of hiding things from one another, you’re going to have to speak openly. Will you be able to do that?”
“I’m willing to try.” I grab hold of her other hand.
“Okay, so Mandy. What’s one thing you’ve been hiding from Dalton?”
She licks her lips, looking decidedly nervous. “I haven’t paid any of our bills in months because I was just too depressed to do it. I didn’t care, the only ones I kept up was the electricity and water, I’m sorry.”
My eyes blink rapidly. The fuck? “Are you serious?”
“Yeah,” she nods slowly. “I’ll fix it, I promise.”
Reaching up, I rub at the beard on my face. “Let me deal with what I can, and then when you get out of here we’ll figure out the rest together. Please don’t ever do this again.”
“I promise. If it all gets to be too much for me again, I’ll talk to you. I just couldn’t focus.”
“I’m not going to pretend like I understand, because I don’t. This is the type of stuff I dealt with growing up, and you know I hate it, but we’ll deal with it.”
“Dalton, what’s one thing you’ve been hiding from Mandy?”
It’s hard.
This point in our lives is so much harder than I ever assumed it would be, and telling her what I’m about to tell her is going to make me vulnerable. I’m not even sure I’ve been vulnerable like this in front of her before, but everything is out the window now. Now’s the time for us to lay it all out.
“I hate that you never trust me with anything. I hate that me pushing you away when you were pregnant with Walker has caused you to choose others when you’re having a hard time. I should be the one you call, but it’s usually your dad or your brother. In so many ways, I don’t feel like the man in your life. I feel dispensable, and while that’s probably not true, it hurts all the same. So you ask why it was easy for me to leave? It wasn’t easy, but I did it because you’ve never told me you wanted me to stay.”
“Now.” Dr. Crawford smiles. “Now we’re getting somewhere…”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Mandy
“Do you really think I’m ready?”
Dr. Crawford looks at me, her gaze intense and strong, almost feeling like it sees through the clothes I’m wearing. “Doesn’t matter what I think, Mandy.