I squeeze my eyes closed. “That’s what happened. You remember that part?”
“It’s what they told me in the hospital. My memory from that night has always been fuzzy. I remember fighting in one of my usual fights that night and winning. And I remember you being there.”
I nod. Mark was in a local underground fight group in high school. I’d accompanied him to a lot of those fights during our sophomore and junior years.
“And we went to that party on Sheffield Road to celebrate your win.”
He nods. “I had a few too many, got stupid drunk, and leaned too heavily on a wooden banister in that abandoned house. Lights out.”
“Yeah, but you could’ve walked after that. I remember seeing your legs move after your initial fall. I ran down the stairs to help you as everyone else heard cops and the ambulance coming and ran out of the house. I knew better.”
“How does any of that make this your fault?” He holds his arms out wide.
“Because I wanted to help. I was so scared, seeing you lying there, groaning in pain. There was blood, and I just wanted to help. My CPR training kicked in, and I turned you over, moving you around, forgetting one of the first rules. I forgot you’re not supposed to move someone’s who’s been injured like that.
“Later, I overheard one of your doctors say to another that your spinal injury was exacerbated by what I did. No one ever told me directly, but I knew it was my fault that you could no longer walk. I’m so sorry.”
I cover my hands with my face, finally letting go of the tears I’d been holding onto. I hated myself still for what I’d done. Yes, it was an accident, but a horrible accident and something that could never be undone.
“I’ll go now.”
I roll myself closer, getting in Jackie’s way, preventing her from leaving. “Go where? You can’t just lay some heavy shit like that on me and walk away,” I say, pulling her arms away from her face.
She drops them at the same time I pull her onto my lap.
“What are you doing?” she croaks out.
“Hell if I know. I hate to see you cry, though.” I bring her face in between my hands and kiss her forehead before lowering to her lips.
She pulls back and swallows. “Didn’t you hear what I just said? It’s my fault you’re in this chair.”
Shaking my head, I demand, “Stop saying that shit. Have you been living with this for the past sixteen years?”
She nods at the same time I roll us into my bathroom. Frowning, I reach down into the cabinet next to the sink and remove a fresh washcloth. I don’t say much as I wet it and then use it to wash her face.
“You're mascara was running.”
“I wore it for you tonight,” she admits.
I kiss her lips.
“You don’t hate me?”
Exhaling, I look her in the eye. “I tried hating you for years. Not because I blamed you for putting me in this chair but because I thought you never believed I was good enough for you, especially after my accident.”
She turns to me, placing her arms over my shoulders. “That was never true, Mark. I wasn’t good en—”
“Shut your damn mouth if you’re about to say what I think you’re going to,” I growl. “No one’s better than the other here, got it?”
She hesitates, but then nods. “What about …” She looks down at the arms of my chair.
Sighing, I turn us around and exit the bathroom, heading across the hardwood floor of my condo to my bedroom.
“This isn’t your fault either, J. You were trying to help me. You stayed when everyone ran out. If not for you, I might’ve died that night. Who fucking knows?”
“How can you forgive me?”
I cut her off with a kiss.
“I’m tired of talking about it for one night. Let’s find something else to do.” I press our lips together, letting my tongue push through her lips. She groans against my invasion.
I make sure to put the brakes on my chair, directly beside my bed, before moving my hands underneath the thick sweater she’s still wearing from earlier.
“Your skin’s so smooth,” I murmur against her lips.
She pulls back and lifts the sweater over her head, tossing it to the floor. My mouth waters at the sight of her chocolate-tipped breasts as she discards her bra.
“Oooh, you feel so good.” She sighs as I wrap my mouth around one of those breasts. I