up the book, “in your face. That doesn’t mean you should act on them. It just means you should think about them. You can think about them with us. We won’t judge you.”
“I do still love Cole,” I said softly, the words tumbling out. “I haven’t seen him since I got engaged. I didn’t want him to freak out.”
“He would have,” Marley said.
“I know.”
“And now, you’re marrying his mortal enemy tomorrow. How does that make you feel?”
I shrugged. “Ash isn’t my enemy. I love him too. I want to marry him.”
“Then that’s your answer,” Josie said, handing me back the book.
Was it that simple?
“I agree,” Marley said. “It’s been a rough path, but you’re here. You’re freaking yourself out because you still have feelings for Cole, and there’s no closure. You don’t need that closure to move on.”
I nodded, hoping they were right. But I could already feel my stomach subsiding, my panic disappearing. I felt more like me again. I’d had a meltdown for no reason. It wasn’t like Cole was going to show up tomorrow or anything. He didn’t even know about the wedding.
“Okay. Let’s go to the dinner.”
“I do have to tell you,” Josie said as the three of us linked arms, “your future mother-in-law is a total bitch.”
We all laughed. At least we could agree on that.
41
Wedding Day
June 15, 2019
Every girl dreamed about her perfect wedding.
But I hadn’t dreamed of white dresses or bouquets or I dos. And when it came right down to it, I’d never imagined my future husband. What he’d look like or what he’d wear or how he’d smile when he saw me that first time.
Because for so long, there hadn’t been just one face in my life … but two.
Two faces. Two outfits. Two smiles.
Two men.
Cole and Ash.
Ash and Cole.
It felt surreal that today of all days, I was going to marry one and not the other. But it was here, and there was no looking back. I’d made my decision. In the end, we’d all made this decision. With our actions and our broken promises. We’d walked right up to today and let it happen.
I wasn’t the typical blushing bride. There would always be a part of me wondering if I’d done the right thing, chosen the right guy. If all the hell that we’d gone through together to get here had been worth it.
But I didn’t have cold feet. I was ready for this.
Except now, my bridesmaids were missing.
I stuck my head out of the bridal suite. My three sisters sat at a table in varying shades of red. Two in floor-length gowns and one in a red suit jacket. They were all matrons of honor for this affair, but they wouldn’t be standing at the altar with me. They’d be seated in the first row.
“Have you seen Josie and Marley?” I asked my sisters about my two best friends.
We’d known each other nearly our entire lives. Been through thick and thin. It wasn’t like them to disappear on my big day.
“They said they had an errand,” Eve said as she poured champagne into flutes.
Elle nodded. “They’ll be right back.”
Steph jumped from her spot and made me twirl in a circle. “You look gorgeous. I wasn’t sure on the bust, but that dress is stunning.”
I beamed at my sisters.
We’d all gone dress shopping multiple times. I’d thought I’d be one of those lucky ones who picked out the very first dress I tried on. But it hadn’t been the case; it might as well have been the last dress I tried on. The thousandth dress I tried on. The dress was a full tulle skirt with a lacy balconette top and thin spaghetti straps.
Josie had told me it was likely bad luck that I was that indecisive. Marley had rolled her eyes and insisted it meant nothing. Two sides of the same coin, those two.
I drank champagne with my sisters and stared down at the massive ring on my finger as I waited for my best friends to return.
“Don’t drink too much,” Eve warned. “You’ll want to remember tonight.”
Elle burst into laughter, and Steph joined her.
“Oh, I’ll remember tonight,” I assured them.
I couldn’t imagine forgetting my wedding night even if I had one too many glasses of champagne. I checked my phone again. Seriously, where the hell were they?
“Maybe we should go look for them.”
“You can’t,” Elle said. “You don’t want Ash to see you before it’s time.”
Tradition.
It was pretty ridiculous, considering how long we’d been sleeping together. But