many things I need.” His eyes openly roam over me. He reaches out and plays with the strings of my bikini on my hip. A few quick pulls and he could have me naked. I’ve learned not to tempt him. At least for now. Until I can figure out what the hell I’m doing here.
What I do know is that I want to continue growing close to my nephew. I’m making so much progress on that front. He took to me even quicker than he did to swimming.
What’s a little unsettling is that Cato hasn't tried so much as to kiss me since the night in my room. That isn’t the unsettling part though. The problem is that it bothers me. I’m not even going to lie to myself and say it doesn’t.
In the moments he had me on that bed, I’d felt free. It was only him and me. My mind wasn't filled with a million thoughts of what I should or shouldn't be doing. He made me feel things I don’t understand. He made me push aside everything except the pleasure he was giving me. I’d momentarily forgotten the sorrow. But as soon as he’d left the room, that feeling left with him. I was alone again. Always alone.
Wait, what had he just said? Needs. Right. “I’m sure filling your needs isn’t hard for a man like you, Cato.” I look away from him and back down at little Carter. My stomach tightens at the thought of Cato with another woman, at the thought of him finding someone else to fill his needs. I sigh inwardly.
My plan was all but abandoned after he called my bluff that night. I’m supposed to be trying to make him fall in love with me. But I can’t do that if I avoid him. I also can’t do that if he’s out banging his mistresses. But the things he makes me feel scare the hell out of me. I lose control. He’s the one pulling the strings, and even though I loved every moment of it, I shouldn’t want that with him. Even if I crave those feelings now.
Cato lets out a deep laugh. I can’t help but look over at him. He looks almost carefree with his head thrown back a little. I didn't think what I said was funny, but he looks good when he laughs. I don’t think he’s done it enough in his life. I guess I don’t much either, anymore.
“One lioness is all I need. I’ve got my hands full.”
I glare at him. Though a stupid happy thrill runs though me that maybe he isn’t whiling away his nights with another woman. “You realize you’ve spent the last two weeks sleeping in his room. In fact you use Carter to keep me away from you.”
“I do no such thing.”
His eyes flick to my cheek. I put my hand to it. He laughs again. I reach out and smack his thigh. “You’re full of shit. My cheek didn't do anything.” He gives me a playful smile and snatches my hand.
“I’ve said nothing while you do this. I get you wanting to get close to little C, but it took me a year to get him out of my bed. I don’t want to progress backwards.”
“He slept with you?” Gah. Why is that so adorable? He shrugs like it’s not a big deal. He truly does love this little boy. He lifts my hand and kisses my palm.
“Wear a robe inside the house when you’re only in your swimsuit,” he orders. I’ll make sure not to do that. He lets my hand go and runs his fingers through Carter’s hair before he stands. “Know that I’ve allowed you to avoid me.”
“Allowed?” I raise an eyebrow at him.
“Yes, allowed. It’s been quite a test of my patience.”
“Why?” If he doesn't want me to avoid him but continues to let me, then I want to know why. He clearly does whatever he wants, but maybe he can at least explain himself to me.
“So you can heal, my little lioness. You came to that funeral already broken and were more so when we left. I want you whole.” With that, he leaves me alone again with little snoozing Carter.
Am I healing? To be honest I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.
10
Cato
“I can’t get any more information than that. I’m trying.” Santino runs a hand through his dark hair. “If I could kill the intel out of some, I would. But torture has